Repetition
by Falling to Fly
Summary: James thought everything was going to be okay. His bad past was behind him, and he was having the time of his life. But when a nightmare from his past throws him into a dangerous situation, will his friends be able to save him in time?
1. Memories and the pain they bring

**Okay, this is my first story ever. I'm not sure if it's any good or not, but I'm really excited about it. I'll try to update every day, but if I don't, you have my sincerest apologies. Let me know what you think and enjoy!**

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"Hey James, we're gonna head down to the pool. You coming?" Kendall asked. James looked up from his oatmeal. "Are you kidding? Looking like this?" the boy exclaimed. From across the room, Carlos let out a laugh while Logan smirked. James' hair was perfectly combed, as usual, and he looked like he was about to model pajamas or something. Kendall raised his huge eyebrows. "Well, okay then," he said, trying and failing to hide his amusement. "Catch you later, man." With that, Kendall, Carlos, and Logan walked out of the apartment, leaving James alone.

As soon as the door closed, James let out a sigh of relief and relaxed into his chair. He had wanted to be alone all morning. He needed some time to think, and with his friends in the apartment there was no way that was going to happen. He quickly finished his breakfast and threw himself onto the couch, staring at the ceiling. As he lay there, his thoughts turned to what had been on his mind all morning. Today was the day it had happened. He couldn't believe it had been ten whole years. Ten years since he had been taken away from everything. Ten years since _they_ had changed his life forever. Ten years since he had been taken, kidnapped, from his home.

As he lay there, memories washed over him like a wave, engulfing him, making it hard for him to breathe. He was on his front lawn, swinging around a hockey stick. He was standing at the fence, trying to hear what the stranger was telling him. He was sitting in the back of a truck, confused and scared as he was driven away from his home. He was locked in a room while more strangers yelled at him, insulting him, telling him things that no six year old should hear. He was in pain, because they had just hit him for no reason. Then the police were there. They were grabbing the men, putting handcuffs on their huge, muscular wrists, and a paramedic was leading him towards an ambulance, a blanket around his shoulders and tears pouring from his eyes as he sobbed.

That had been ten years ago. Ten years and the pain and fear was finally beginning to dissolve, disappearing as it was replaced by happier memories that he had shared with his friends. His life had eventually returned to normal, and "the incident" had become nothing more than a bad dream. It hardly ever crossed his mind, but every year on this day it all came rushing back. Kendall, Carlos, and Logan had no idea what had happened to him, and he planned to keep it that way. If they ever found out, well, he didn't want to think about that. They were great friends, better than he could have ever hoped for, but they lived relatively sheltered lives. He was afraid that if they ever found out about his past, they would never treat him the same again. He wasn't willing to risk that. The only people who knew about "the incident" were his parents, Mrs. Knight, and a few other select people.

James sighed, suddenly regretting not going down to the pool with the others. Mrs. Knight and Katie had gone to visit family that lived in a city a few hours away, and now he had nothing to distract himself from the nightmarish thoughts that were running through his head. He desperately wished that his friends knew about everything, so that they would have realized what was going on and stayed with him, but that wasn't the case, so he was just going to have to tough it out. He sat up and leaned into the couch, hugging his arms to his chest. He took a deep breath, and finally let himself cry. He sobbed, hating himself for being so weak, but so glad that he didn't have to cry in front of his friends. He couldn't let them see him cry, because if they asked what was wrong, he wasn't sure he'd be able to lie. He cried to himself and just sat there for half an hour, until finally he felt the tears stop and his breathing slow until he was just shaking quietly. Finally he had calmed down completely and resumed staring at the ceiling.

He lay there for a while, trying to distract himself, wishing his friends would hurry up and get back. He jumped as the chorus of 'Famous' filled the air, and climbed over the couch to grab his phone off the counter. Looking at the screen, he gave a small smile as he saw the caller I.D. and quickly pushed the talk button. "Hey Mom," he said, trying to sound happy. "Hi sweetie, how're you doing?" his mother's warm voice asked, sounding genuinely concerned. His smile faltered, but he didn't hesitate with his answer. "I'm fine, Mom. L.A's great, I bet you and Dad would love it here." His mother laughed, happy to hear about her son's good times. "Your father is out of town on a business trip, but he said that he would call you. I'm sure he wants to hear from you." James nodded.

There was an awkward silence before James finally said what they were both thinking. "I can't believe it's been ten years." His mom sighed on the other end of the phone, closing her eyes as horrifying memories popped up in her head. "I know," she murmured softly, trying to hide the pain in her voice. It had been a horrible experience, something no mother ever wants to go through. It still terrified her that her baby had been taken so easily, and letting him go to L.A. had been a hard decision. But she and her husband both knew how much James wanted to sing, so they had allowed it, making him swear to be insanely careful. It hurt her not to be with him on this day, because he had no one to lean on in the huge city. He was her baby boy, her only child, and as strong as she knew he was, she still saw him as a little bit helpless.

Another awkward silence filled the air, neither knowing what to say. Finally Mrs. Diamond spoke. "I know it's hard, but let's not talk about this. It will just ruin both of our days, and we don't need that." There was a tiny pause. "Okay," James said quietly. Truthfully, he was a little disappointed. He had been hoping that at least his mother would be willing to talk to him and comfort him, but he couldn't be mad at her for wanting to avoid the subject. "Look, I have to go, but I'll call you later, okay sweetheart? I love you," she said gently. James smiled again. "I love you too, Mom." He heard a little click as his mom hung up and put his phone in his pocket. He just stood there for another minute, before deciding that he was going to go find the guys.

He ran into his room and quickly pulled on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt and ran his lucky comb through his hair. He looked at himself in the mirror and smiled, satisfied. He walked into the living room and was almost to the door when an arm wrapped around his chest, pinning his arms to his side, and he was pulled into the kitchen.

James gasped and immediately began to struggle. He opened his mouth to scream for help, but a huge hand covered it before he could make a sound. "You don't want to do that, kid." James froze as another man spoke. His attacker removed his hand and released him, but before James could run his arms had been grabbed and roughly twisted behind him. He cried out in pain as he was spun around, being forced to look at the other man. His face paled and his eyes widened in shock. "No," he whispered, horrified.

He heard the sound of tape being ripped and he could vaguely feel it being wrapped around his wrists, but he was too transfixed on the man who stood before him. This couldn't be happening. There was no way. This had to be a bad dream. Yeah, that was it, it was a bad dream, no, a nightmare, because there was no way that this could be happening. But it was. A piece of tape was slapped over his mouth, and he felt himself being dragged backwards. Instantly he began to struggle again, letting out muffled cries as he was pulled out the door and forced towards the stairway. _Please, someone help me,_ he prayed. He couldn't do this. He began struggling even harder, desperate to get away. Someone cursed behind him and suddenly pain exploded in his head. As he lost consciousness, the last thought he had was, _please, not again…_ Then everything faded and all he saw was black.

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**There's chapter one. The next one should be up tomorrow but until then, have a happy Monday!**


	2. Search and Siezure

**Okay, I don't like this chapter as much, but it will get better soon, I promise. Thank you all so much for taking the time to read this. It means a lot.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing Big Time Rush related!**

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Carlos sprinted into the apartment, immediately heading towards the swirly slide. "SWIRLY SLIDE!" he screamed, climbing into it and quickly scrambling to the top. "WHOO!" He threw himself headfirst back into the slide and happily slid down, crashing into the floor as he reached the end of the ride. Kendall and Logan watched in amusement as their friend ran around the apartment. Finally Carlos stopped and looked around, frowning. "Where's James?" he asked. Kendall and Logan looked around. "James?" Kendall called out. There was no answer. "James?" he said a little louder. Logan walked over to James' room and looked in. "He's not in there," he reported, frowning. "He probably got bored and went down to the pool," Carlos said. Logan shook his head. "We would have seen him," he pointed out. "Well maybe he ran out of hair products and went to get some," Kendall said. "I guess," Logan mumbled, but doubt clouded his thoughts.

_"You wanna be famous! Famous. You wanna be the one who's living the life…" _All three boys looked up as James' ringtone filled the room. Carlos ran into the kitchen and found James' cell phone on the floor. He crossed the room and picked it up. "Hello?" he said as he answered the phone. "Hello? James?" a man's voice asked from the other end of the line. "No, this is Carlos," the Latino said cheerfully. "Carlos! So good to hear from you, son!" the man said enthusiastically. "You too! Um, uh, who is this again?" Carlos asked hesitantly. The man laughed. "It's me, Steve Diamond! James' dad? Speaking of James, is he there?" Carlos looked around, as if he thought James would suddenly appear, but he didn't, so he answered, "Um, no, I think he stepped out for a while. I'll have him call you when he comes back." There was a pause on the other end of the line before Mr. Diamond responded. "Okay, thank you. Tell him that if he calls after four I'll be home, so he should call the house so that his mother and I can talk to him together." For some reason, he suddenly sounded worried, but Carlos quickly shook it off. "Sure thing Mr. Diamond. I'll have him call you. Okay, bye."

Carlos hung up and met his friends' curious looks. "That was James' dad," he explained. Kendall and Logan nodded in understanding. "So…" Kendall said as the boys lapsed into silence. "What should we do now?" Logan answered first. "I think we should go look for James." Kendall gave him a weird look. "Why? I'm sure he's fine." Logan shrugged. "I don't know, I just think we should look for him. I have this weird feeling about all this. Plus, if he just ran to the store or something, why didn't he take his phone?" Kendall said nothing, not sure how to respond. "Ok," he finally said. "Let's split up. Carlos, you look down by the pool and the lobby. Logan, you head over to Palm Woods Park. I'll go to the store around the corner to see if he's there." The others nodded and took off in search of the missing friend.

Two hours later…

"Any luck?" Kendall asked as he joined his friends around the pool. They shook their heads. Kendall frowned. "Okay, now I'm starting to worry. What should we do?" Logan shrugged. "There's not much we can do," he said calmly, trying to hide his growing apprehension. The boys looked at each other unhappily. It upset them that James hadn't even bothered to leave a note saying where he was going. When he got back, James was a dead man.

"He'll probably walk in any minute," Carlos said. The others said nothing. They just watched the door, willing James to walk in with a huge bag of hair products, but nothing happened. Kendall sighed. Where was James?

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James opened his eyes slowly and immediately closed them as light attacked his pupils, making his head pound. He lay there for a few minutes, waiting for the pain to subside, and quickly became aware of how uncomfortable he was. He was lying on his back with his arms twisted underneath him. His legs were bent at a weird angle and something was pressed against his mouth. He wanted to move, but he was feeling too tired to do anything. _Why does everything hurt so bad? _he wondered. Then it all came rushing back. His eyes snapped open and he looked around him in a panic. His arms and legs were tied together and a piece of tape was stuck firmly across his mouth. He was in the back of what appeared to be a van. A man was sitting on a bench near him but hadn't noticed that he was conscious yet.

He had been kidnapped _again_. Why did this have to happen to him? He'd done some bad things in his life, but nothing that made him deserved to be kidnapped not once, but twice. This couldn't be happening. People only got kidnapped in movies and books. Not in real life. Not in his life. One time was unlikely to ever happen, but twice? That was just crazy. Crazy, he realized, and his reality.

James lay there, unmoving, and was so lost in his thoughts that he didn't notice that the man who was with him was staring at him. The man stood up and James snapped to attention, watching his every move as the man walked to a small, barred window that separated the part of the van James was in from the driver. "He's awake," the man said quietly, still watching James. Someone up front said something that James couldn't quite make out, but whatever it was didn't make the man very happy. "But-" he started to argue. The other guy cut him off. "Jack…" he said warningly. The man, Jack, stopped talking, but he was clearly upset. "Fine," he muttered, sitting back down. James watched silently, not sure what he should do. He knew he needed to escape, but there wasn't much he could do in a moving van tied up like he was. _If only Kendall were here. He'd know what to do_, he thought to himself. Kendall! His thoughts turned to his friends, who were probably back from the pool and wondering where he was. How long would it take for them to realize something was wrong? He could only hope and pray that they would figure it out fast and call the police. He wasn't sure what these guys had planned for him, but after seeing _him_ in the apartment… James shuddered. Nothing good was going to come of this.

His thoughts were jumping around, and finally landed on the man from the apartment. He knew him. His name was Samuel Stenwell, and he was the one who had lured James out of his front yard ten years ago and taken him from his family. He had been sentenced to 20 years in jail and another year for starting a prison riot. What was he doing out? And more importantly, what was he going to do to James? The boy felt himself trembling as unwanted images of all things Samuel could do to him invaded his brain. Samuel wanted revenge, that much was obvious, but what was he going to do to get it?

Without warning the van turned sharply onto a bumpy road, throwing James against the wall. He let out a cry of pain as his head slammed into the metal, sending a fresh wave of pain through his head. The van jumped as it drove over the rocky road, causing James to be tossed around the van. Finally, the van pulled to a stop. James let out a sigh of relief as he finally stopped moving, but his remission was short lived as the back doors of the van were thrown open, blinding him as bright light streamed in. Strong hands grabbed him by the shoulders and he felt himself being dragged out of the van. He saw Samuel smirking down at him as he was pulled into an old, rundown house. He was thrown to the ground and Samuel stood over him. "And so it begins," he said evilly.

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**Oh no, poor James! Remember, writing makes my life good, reviews make it complete!**


	3. What's a boy to do?

**Okay, so here's chapter 3. It's a bit earlier than I had planned, but my friend One Man Writing Games and I made a deal, and I really wanted to add this anyway because chapter 4, aka my favorite chapter so far, is coming up next. So read on my dear viewers!**

**Disclaimer: Big Time Rush is all Nickelodeon's (did I spell that right?)**

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James stared up at Samuel, fear evident on his usually handsome face. He made a desperate attempt to squirm away which ended in him being viciously kicked in the side. He held back a moan as he stopped moving. Samuel stood over him and motioned for Jack and another man to grab James. They lifted the boy off his feet and held him in place. Samuel's lip curled into a sneer as ripped the tape off of James lips and began to hit him. James let out as a gasp as he was sucker punched in the stomach, quickly followed by a cry as a fist connected with his nose. Samuel smiled at his pain and continued with the violent beating, enjoying his victim's cries.

Half an hour later James was dropped to the floor, where he lay whimpering in pain. His tormenter knelt down next to him and grabbed him by the hair, eliciting a choked sob. Samuel pulled his hair so that James was looking at him. "You think that was bad?" he asked menacingly. James gazed up at him in terror but remained silent. "That was nothing. I am going to make you hurt so bad that you are going to wish you had never been born. You put me in jail for twenty years. Twenty years! I got lucky and managed to escape, but because of you I would have spent almost the whole rest of my life in jail! Now you're going to pay. I'm going to make your life a living hell, and you're not going to try to escape, because if you do, I'll go after you're little friends. Got it?" James stared at him in horror. Not his friends. They had nothing to do with this. If they got hurt because of him, he'd never be able to forgive himself. Slowly, he nodded, feeling sick as he watched Samuel grin.

Samuel stood up and grabbed James by shirt, dragged him to a small room, and threw him in. The door closed and James heard a click as the door was locked. He sat there for a minute, feeling lost. He refused to believe that this was happening, but it was all too real for it to be a dream. He was stuck there, and there was nothing he could do about it. He leaned against the wall and bowed his head, allowing the tears he had been trying so hard to hold back fall as a cascading river. _Someone, please help me_, he prayed before crying took all his focus and he was left sobbing on the floor.

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It was nearly five and James wasn't back. Kendall was pacing the room, muttering to himself, Logan was trying to distract himself by reading a huge book about doctor stuff that nobody could understand, and Carlos was going up and down the swirly slide, trying to calm his growing unease. Finally Kendall couldn't take it anymore. "Where is he?" he finally exploded. The others stopped what they were doing and looked at him. "He's been gone all day! What could he possibly have to do for this long without us?" No one responded, so he continued. "He would've called. He wouldn't freak us out like this. Something must be wrong." Still his friends were silent. Kendall sighed in frustration. "What are we supposed to do?"

Logan just shook his head. "I don't know," he whispered. An uncomfortable pause lapsed between them before Kendall finally made up his mind. "I'm calling my mom," he declared, walking into the kitchen and grabbing the phone. He was about to punch in his mom's number when someone knocked on the door. He paused, looking at the phone, before putting it down and going to answer the door. He was really hoping it was James, but he felt a feeling of dread forming in his stomach. He opened the door and his heart sank in disappointment. It was Mr. Bitters.

"Can I help you?" Kendall asked, trying not to sound too annoyed. Mr. Bitters, for once, didn't say something sarcastic or rude back. Instead, he looked extremely worried and a little sympathetic. Alarms went off in Kendall's head; something was very wrong.

Mr. Bitters stood in the hallway, a troubled look on his face. "There's something you need to see," he said nervously. Logan and Carlos, who had come to see who was at the door, exchanged confused glances. Kendall frowned, trying not to look concerned and failing miserably. "What is it?" he asked in a fake calm voice. Mr. Bitters hesitated. "Is your mother here?" he finally asked. Kendall shook his head and the manager sighed. "Very well, please come with me." With that, he turned on his heel and walked to the elevators. The boys looked at each other before racing off after him.

Inside the elevator the boys bombarded Bitters with questions, but he remained quiet. It wasn't until they had gotten to the lobby and gone into his office that he spoke. "This is a security tape that was taken from the camera right outside the emergency exit at the bottom of the stairs," he began. Kendall felt his stomach plummet and a feeling of panic grip his heart in an icy vise. Bitters pushed a button on his computer and the boys crowded around his desk to see what was on the screen while the manager stepped back and bowed his head.

The tape showed a door that was clearly belonged to the Palm Woods. In the background there was a black van parked next to dumpster. For a few second there was no movement. Then suddenly the door was flung open and a small group of huge, muscular looking men burst out, two of them holding someone between them. All three boys gasped as the recognized the limp figure being dragged from the building; it was James.

As they watched, the men dragged James to the van and threw him into the back. One got in the back with him while the other two climbed up front. The van pulled out of the view of the camera, and the tape was once again still. Carlos stumbled away from the computer in horror, but Logan and Kendall were too shocked to move. _He had been kidnapped._ Kendall looked at the time that was printed on the bottom of the screen and he felt like crying when he saw it: 9:48. James had been taken hours ago, and no one had even bothered to go find him. The boys had looked, sure, but they hadn't looked hard enough. They hadn't worried enough to think that something might be seriously wrong, and now James was gone.

The three BTR boys were brought out of their shock by Mr. Bitters. "I've already contacted the police. We'll need to tell your mother, Kendall, and call James' parents. I can get right on that if you-" Kendall cut him off before he could continue. "No," he said flatly. He was trembling and was surprised that he had even found his voice. "They need to hear it from us," he said, gesturing to Logan and Carlos. Bitters nodded in understanding and walked out the door to meet the police.

The boys stood in shocked silence again before Kendal finally reached over and grabbed the phone off of Bitters' desk. His hands were shaking so bad that he was afraid that he would drop the phone. He put in his mom's cell number and held the phone tightly, wincing every time he heard the dial tone. "Hello?" his mother's voice answered from the other end of the line. "Mom…" Kendall said, his voice breaking. "Kendall, baby, what's wrong?" she asked, immediately picking up on her son's distress. "Mom… James, he… he's been kidnapped." He heard his mom gasp and the phone fall from her hand. He stood there, trying to hold back tears as he listened to her scramble to pick it up. "I'm on my way home right now. I'll get there as soon as I can. Stay where you are and please be careful." There was a click and Kendall knew she had hung up and was on her way.

Next was the call he had been dreading the most: James' parents. How was he going to tell them that their only son had been kidnapped? Taking a deep, shuddering breath, Kendall punched in the Diamond's number and waited, trying to figure out what he would say. "Hello?" a woman asked as she picked up. Kendall instantly recognized the voice of Paige Diamond. "Hi, Mrs. Diamond, it's Kendall Knight…" Kendall said quietly. "Kendall? Oh, hello dear. We were just talking about you and James. Speaking of James, he should have calles us by now. It's nearly seven o'clock. Is he there?" Kendall winced as she asked about her son and realized that since it was two hours later in Minnesota than it was in California. "Well, Mrs. Diamond, that's the thing," he said, unable to control his trembling voice. "James had been… kidnapped." At the last word Kendall finally broke and he started crying. He could hear James' mom on the other end screaming for her husband and crying. He heard her say something to Mr. Diamond and he heard James' father speak. "No…" the man said, mortified. "NO!"

Carlos and Logan could hear everything and now they were crying too. Kendall moved his fingers to hit end when he heard something that stopped him cold. Amidst the sobbing and screaming on the other end, he heard Mr. Diamond say something that froze all three boys in their tracks. They all looked at each other in confusion. Why had he just said not _again_?

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**So there's chapter 3 for ya. Chapter 4 will be up tomorrow, and I feel that I must warn you, there will be more angst there than the whole first three chapters combined (at least I think there will). So prepare yourselves, my friends, and until then, au revoir!**


	4. Bordering on hopelessness

**Just a warning, this chapter has a lot of angst, mainly about James, but there's also some about the other boys. Also, I'd like to dedicate this chapter to One Man Writing Games, who not only is an amazing and talented writer and loves James angst as much as I do, but also left the first review for my story. And thanks to all the rest of you for all the awesome reviews. It really means a lot to hear that other people like this. I can't wait to hear what you guys think of this chapter!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Big Time Rush stuff. **

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James opened his eyes slowly looked around the bare, dirty room. There was a small old cot pushed against the wall on the opposite side of the room. There was a small bureau next to the cot with a dusty, cracked mirror on it. There was a window to his right, but it was boarded up and only let in a little bit of light. Other than that, the room was empty.

James' pushed himself off the wall, groaning as his aching body protested his movements. He rolled himself over the wood floors towards the bed. When he reached it, he used his hands, which were still tied behind him, to grip the edge of the mattress and hoist himself up. He flopped onto the bed. It was lumpy and hard, and not much more comfortable than the floor, but it was something.

James lay still, feeling sorry for himself for what felt like hours. Finally he couldn't take it anymore and struggled to sit up, leaning against the headrest. From his position he could see his reflection in the mirror. For once in his life, James Diamond looked terrible. His had a bruise under his eye and on his chin. There was dry blood under his nose and his eyes were bloodshot. His hair, which was always perfectly combed, was messed up and sticking up in random places. He felt himself break a little as he stared at the boy in the mirror. This boy couldn't be him. He looked so beaten, so hopeless, so… not James. He looked so ready to give up and like he was lost, unsure of anything. Seeing himself so forlorn hurt him more than anything Samuel and his friends had done.

James wanted to look away, but it was like watching a car accident. It was so terrible, but it drew his attention like a magnet. This was what he had become in just a few short hours. He'd gone from the self obsessed pretty boy to a dejected, beaten soul. He was fighting a losing battle and ready to give up, and the fight had hardly even started. What would his friends say if they saw him like this?

His friends. Kendall, Carlos, and Logan. He had known them for as long as he could remember. They had been through a lot together: hockey, hospital trips instigated by hockey, lots of other random adventures that had often landed them in the hospital, and finally Big Time Rush. His time in Los Angeles had been the greatest of his life, and he never would have gotten there without his friends, especially Kendall. Now he was letting them down.

He thought of his friends. They were probably freaking out back at the apartment. He wondered what they thought had happened. Kidnapping hardly ever happened back in Minnesota. Would they even consider it as a possibility? Samuel's threat played over and over again in his mind. He couldn't let them get dragged into this. He could hardly handle all this by himself. What would happen if he had to deal with his friends getting hurt because of him? That would send him over the edge. He wasn't sure that he would make it if that happened.

He had asked himself a lot of questions, and now they all had too many different answers. He had to focus on what actually was, as bad as it might be. He tried to focus on the good things. His friends weren't here to suffer with him. Someone could have seen him being taken and called the police. He was still alive. The list ended there. James sighed, trying to think of something happier. He smiled into the gag as he remembered the time Carlos had tried to use his helmet as a Frisbee and ended up knocking Logan into the pool and Kendall into the Jennifer's while James had sat back and hidden with Camille. He also remembered the time the four of them had tried to play hockey in Palm Woods Park and ended up being chased four blocks by a pack of dogs that had pulled away from the girl walking them. James felt his spirits life slightly, and suddenly he knew what he had to do.

He couldn't stay here. If he did, he'd never see his friends and family again. If he escaped, he could get to his friends and tell the police what had happened. Even if they didn't catch Samuel, they could at least get protection from the police. Anything would be better than this. James began to pull at his wrists, trying to loosen the rope. The harsh fibers soon turned his wrists raw, but he could feel the rope slacken after a few minutes. A few more minutes and the rope gave way and fell off completely. His wrists were red and bleeding, but he ignored that and quickly untied his ankles and ripped the tape off his mouth, wincing as it pulled off all the hair around his mouth.

Without hesitation James jumped up and ran to the door. He opened it as quietly as he could and peeked out. There was no one to be seen anywhere in the old house. He took a cautious step out of the room and looked around. The house was empty as far as he could tell. He scanned the room and his eyes found something on a small table near the front door. A phone!

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Kendall, Logan, and Carlos watched silently as a bunch of police officers swarmed around the lobby. Their statements had already been taken, and now all they could do was wait. James' parents had hung up before they could ask what they had meant when they had said not again. Again, as in this had happened before. James had never been kidnapped before. Right?

The boys sat quietly. Carlos was crying and trying, and failing, to hide it. Logan was in a state of shock, staring straight ahead with a vacant look in his eyes. Kendall was a mix of both. He didn't know what to do, and he hated it. He'd always been able to come up with a plan to get all of his friends out of trouble, but now there was nothing he could do. He hated this feeling of helplessness, and the fact that he had no control of the situation. The only other time he hadn't been able to control something was when his father had left, and this somehow felt worse than that.

Finally Kendall's phone rang, breaking the silence. Kendall snatched it up and hit talk. "Hello?" he practically shouted. "Kendall? Baby, it's me," his mother said from the other end. "Oh," he said, trying to hide his disappointment. "What's up?" Mrs. Knight sighed. "I'm stuck in this stupid city traffic," she said in frustration. "I won't be home for at least another hour." She wanted more than anything to get to her son, and he knew it. "Okay," Kendall said. She could hear the hopelessness and frustration in his voice and it stabbed at her heart. "Hey mom?" he asked suddenly. "Yes?" she asked gently. "We… We called James' parents to let them know what happened and… they said something really weird." She felt her heart sink as she realized where this was going. "Oh?"

"Yeah. They said something like 'not again.' What did they mean by again?" His voice was pleading for an answer, but she couldn't tell him. Not like this. "Oh sweetie… I'll explain when I get there. Listen, I have to go, I need to concentrate on the road. I'll see you soon. I love you," she said softly. "I love you too, Mom. See you soon. Bye." Kendall hung up and ran his hands through his hair in frustration. Neither of his friends had moved from their positions, and Kendall instantly settled back into his own. This was going to be a long night.

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James scrambled across the room and snatched up the phone, punching in the first number that came into his mind. He fidgeted anxiously as he listened to it ring. "Come on, come on…" he muttered desperately. He heard a click and then Kendall's voice. "Hello?"

"Kendall!" he cried. He heard a gasp on the other end. "James?" Kendall asked hesitantly. "Oh thank God!" James said, relief surging through him. "James, are you okay? Where are you? Bitters showed us a tape of what happened. Did you escape?" James resisted the urge to laugh at Kendall's concern. He had other, more pressing concerns. "Not exactly. I'm fine, and I'm at-" Before he could finish, the phone was ripped from his hands. He gasped in surprise and looked up to see a very angry looking Samuel. "That, my dear friend, was not very smart. Not very smart at _all_." The man lashed out at James, catching him in the jaw, and the boy fell to the ground with a cry of pain.

Kendall could hear everything from back at the Palm Woods, and he felt his heart turn to ice as he heard his friend's cries. "James? James, what's going on? Come on, talk to me!" he yelled desperately. Carlos and Logan stared at him with wide eyes as he screamed. "JAMES!"

"Shut up, kid," a man said angrily from the other line. "Who are you? What have you done with James? Why did you-" The man cut him off. "I said shut up. You say another word, I will _kill_ your friend here." There was a shout of pain and Kendall immediately stopped talking."Good," the man said. Carlos and Logan had finally snapped out of their shock and were crowding around Kendall, listening in horror. "Now, I want you to listen, and listen close. You're going to forget this call ever happened. You're not going to tell the police or anyone else about it, because if you do, James dies. Got it?" All three boys nodded instinctively, unable to find their voices. "I said, got it?" he said angrily. The boys heard another cry of pain and all shouted, "YES!" They could hear the smirk in his voice as he answered. "Good. I guess we're done here." There was a click and then all the boys could hear was the dial tone.

The three stared at the phone in shock. "NO!" they all screamed. A few police officers glanced up from where they were looking for more evidence. "Is something wrong, boys?" one of them asked. The three exchanged glances before Logan finally spoke up. "We're fine, sir. We just found out that… Um, Kendall's mom is still stuck in traffic," he lied. The officer stared at him doubtfully, but he didn't press them any further. The boys sighed in relief as the cops went back to what they were doing, but their solace was quickly replaced by panic and worry.

"What are we going to do?" Carlos burst out. The normally cheerful hockey player was deathly pale and trembling like a leaf in a tsunami. Logan said nothing and Kendall just shook his head. "I don't know," he whispered. "I just don't know."

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**Oh man, I think I need to go lay down. This chapter gave me an angst overload. Well that was chapter 4, the longest chapter I've written so far, chapter 5 will be up soon. Until then, auf wiedersehen!**


	5. On regrets and midnight comforts

**Thank you all so much for all the amazing reviews! I'm working super hard to write the next few chapters and I'll have a lot of time this weekend because I can't go anywhere. And just a heads up, I'm going somewhere Friday so chapter 6 will probably posted either pretty early in the morning or at night around 6ish. Again, thank you all, and I look forward to your thoughts on this chapter. Now read on!**

**Disclaimer: I only own Samuel, Jack, and Aaron, nothing else (but I'm pretty sure we all knew that).**

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James was curled up in a ball on the floor, trying to protect himself from the merciless kicks Samuel was delivering. He whimpered in pain as the man's foot connected with his already sore abs. He couldn't believe he had been so stupid. He should have gotten away from the house before he called anyone. He had been too careless in his excitement at getting free, and now he was going to suffer the consequences.

"You… stupid… little… PUNK!" Samuel screamed. He reached down and grabbed the front of James' shirt, jerking him to his feet. "What else did you tell them? ANSWER ME!" he screamed. The boy jumped at the anger in his voice. "I- I didn't tell them anything!" he stuttered. Samuel slammed him into the wall, knocking all the air out of his lungs. "DON'T LIE TO ME!" James cringed and tried to shrink away. "I'm not lying, I swear!" he cried desperately. Samuel's eyes were black as he glared at the boy in front of him. With a wild, animalistic howl, he threw James across the room, sending him crashing into a table.

James let out a cry as the table smashed under his weight and he crashed to the ground. His head hit the ground hard, and his vision blurred. Little splinters of wood send stabs of pain all over his body. His whole body felt like one big bruise. Something warm and wet was slowly beginning to run down his face, and somehow he just knew it was blood. He tried to push himself up, but the effort proved too great, and he collapsed back to the ground, unconscious.

Samuel walked over to his victim kicked him hard, growling as he received no response. "Stupid kid," he muttered. He grabbed a roll of duct tape and set to work on tying James back up. Just as finished, Jack and Aaron, his other accomplice, walked in. They stared the scene in front of them. "What happened?" Aaron finally asked. Samuel glared at them. "While you two were gone, the kid got loose and called his friends. He could have escaped!" The two stared at him in silence.

"You had better not let it happen again," Samuel continued. "Because if he gets away, it's going to be a lot worse for the two of you." They glared at him, but still said nothing. "I got you two out of jail. You owe me, don't forget that," he said. Jack rolled his eyes in annoyance. How could they forget it when he reminded them every few minutes? "Okay, boss, it won't happen again," he said. Samuel nodded. "See that it doesn't," he said coldly, before stalking out of the room.

As soon as he was gone, Jack turned to Aaron. "I'm not sure how much longer I can put up with him," he whispered. Aaron nodded in agreement. "Yeah, as soon as we finish this job, I'm out," he replied. They turned their attention to the boy on the floor and sighed. "We'd better stop that bleeding," Jack commented. "If he dies now, Sam'll kill us." Aaron nodded and went to go find a rag to stop the bleeding while Jack easily picked up the skinny boy and carried him back into his room. About ten minutes later the bleeding had stopped and James' head was more or less cleaned up. The two men watched the motionless 16 year old silently, frowning. They didn't care that Samuel was going to kill him, but this was torture. They half hoped that James would be found, or at least escape, and that they would get away and everyone would be happy. But they weren't going to do anything to help him. Whatever happened would happen.

* * *

Back at the Palm Woods, the police had finally left, telling the boys and Mrs. Knight that they would do everything they could to find James. Kendall's mom had arrived about an hour after James had called, having left Katie at her sister's house. Her heart had broken when she saw the boys, because they weren't _her_ boys. Her boys were wild and crazy and always so full of energy. These ones were quiet and scared, and she was afraid that one of them would break into a million pieces. They had all obviously been crying, and Carlos still was. The thing that bothered her the most was the date. _Ten years_, she realized. This would have been bad on any day, but today… that was the worst thing that could happen. And what was even worse was that she was going to have to explain all this to Kendall, Carlos, and Logan.

As if reading her thoughts, Kendall finally spoke. "So what was all that stuff about this happening again?" Mrs. Knight winced. "We didn't want you boys to find out like this," she said quietly. "We?" Logan asked, frowning. Mrs. Knight nodded. "James, his parents, and me," she explained. Carlos looked up. "What exactly didn't you want us to find out?" he asked shakily. She sighed. "James…" she began hesitantly. All three boys were looking at her pleadingly, begging for answers. "James has been kidnapped before."

They stared at her in shock. "W-what?" Kendall finally said. He looked a little dazed. "When he was younger, he was taken from his front yard," his mom explained gently. "The police found him after a few days. He never told you guys because… it was never the right time. There was no reason for him to tell you about it." The boys just stared at her, eyes bulging out of their heads. Finally Kendall spoke again. "When did this happen." It was more of a statement than a question. Mrs. Knight looked away, unable to face them as she answered. "Ten years ago today," she whispered. The three remaining BTR members gaped at her in horror. Today was the day it had happened ten years ago? Was it some sick coincidence? Not likely.

There was an uncomfortable silence as the four were lost in their thoughts. Mrs. Knight was the one to speak first. "We should go up to the apartment," she murmured quietly. Wordlessly they all stood up and walked to the elevator, as if in a trance. When they finally reached 2J they all went to their separate rooms to be alone. Kendall lay on his bed, knowing that there was no way he was going to be able to fall asleep.

A few hours later Kendall opened his eyes; he had somehow managed to fall asleep. He lay still, trying to figure out what had brought him out of his fitful slumber. Then he heard it: muffled sobs. He jumped out of bed and walked out of his room, following the sound of crying to the living room. He found Logan sitting on the couch, sniffling to himself. He sat down next to his friend, and without hesitation pulled him into a hug. Logan buried his head in Kendall's shoulder and sobbed. Kendall's shirt was soon soaked in tears, but he didn't seem to notice. He was focused solely on his broken friend.

Logan finally stopped crying after about half an hour. The two sat in silence before Logan finally spoke. "I'm sorry," he whispered. Kendall stared at him in confusion. "For what?" he asked incredulously. Logan sniffled. "For waking you up and ruining your shirt," he muttered. Kendall let out a laugh. "Seriously? Logan, don't ever apologize for crying, especially now. You have every reason," he said. Logan nodded. "I know, I just… I keep thinking about James and what might be happening to him. What if he's hurt? I'm trying to be strong, but I just can't." He broke off and shut his eyes, trying not to start crying again. Kendall looked at him sadly. "Logan, we're all trying to be strong, but it's not going to be easy. You saw Carlos earlier. I've never seen him so upset, and me… this is probably the hardest thing I've ever had to go through. But we have to be strong, for James. We're going to find him, and when we do, he's going to need us. Be strong for him. Can you do that?" he asked gently. Logan hesitated, then nodded.

"Good," Kendall said, giving him a small smile. Logan stood up and walked towards his room, but when he got to the door he paused. "Kendall?" he asked. The boy looked up at his name. "Thanks," Logan said. Kendall smiled again. "No problem." Logan nodded and went into his room. Kendall sighed and leaned into the couch, lost in his thoughts once again. He thought of what he had just said, and realized that he believed every word of it. They were going to find James and be strong and everything was going to be okay. He repeated the last part over and over again in his head. _Everything is going to be okay._

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**So there's a sweet, brotherly moment between Kendall and Logan, but don't worry, Carlos' turn is coming! And I guess Jack and Aaron aren't as bad as they seem, although they're still bad. Remember, reviews=inspiration!**


	6. Reluctant phone calls

**I wasn't planning on putting this up until tomorrow, but I'm going to be busy this weekend and I wasn't sure how much I'd get to update so I figured I'd put this up just in case. Again, I have to thank you guys for all the amazing reviews. I'm so blessed to have such nice readers. Also, I'm trying to decide whether I should do a sequel to this. It wouldn't have James being kidnapped (at least not like he is now, three times kidnapped seems like a little too much) Just vote on my profile page and let me know. Anyway, on with the story!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing Big Time Rush.**

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James woke up in darkness. The pain was unbelievable. Every inch of his body screamed in agony, especially his head and stomach. Every time he breathed a sharp pain lit up his side. His head throbbed, and he felt as though his skull had been hit repeatedly with a brick. He tried to move, but instantly stopped as pain erupted all over his body. He moaned and lay still, wishing that his suffering would just end.

It's not that he wanted to die. In fact, that was the last thing he wanted. But he needed the torment to stop, because if it didn't, he didn't think he'd last much longer. He couldn't remember ever hurting this much, and that was saying something considering all the accidents he'd gotten into over the years. He prayed to God that Kendall and the others would find him soon, because then, and only then, everything would be okay again.

James was brought out of his thoughts as the door opened and Samuel stepped inside the room. His eyes widened in fear as the man walked towards him, stopping about a foot away from where he lay on the floor. "Relax," Samuel said, smirking. "Originally I kidnapped you to get revenge, but then I realized something: you're in a band. Big Time Rush, isn't it? Well, until they have you back, there isn't much they can do, so the way I figure it, we can get quite a bit of money for your safe return. Am I right?" James said nothing, but felt a feeling of dread pass over him as he realized what his kidnapper was saying.

"So," Samuel continued, "I figured we'd just give your little friends another call. I'm sure they'll be happy to hear from you again," he said. "Although I'm not sure why. You're so pathetic and worthless. I don't know why anyone cares about you, but they do, so we'll just have to use that to our advantage, won't we." There was no question about it. He knew what he wanted, and now he was determined to get it.

Samuel pulled out a phone from his pocket, along with a knife. James eyed the knife warily, much to Samuel's amusement. He bent down and cut the tape off of James wrists and mouth and thrust the phone into his hands. James just stared at him. Samuel frowned. "Well?" he asked impatiently. James didn't move and Samuel's eyes darkened. "Call your friends," he growled. James shook his head, wincing as the pain doubled. "No," he whispered.

Samuel froze. "No?" he repeated in disbelief. "NO?" he screamed. James looked him in the eye and tried to hide his terror. "No," he said again. Samuel looked at him murderously. "You have ten seconds to change your answer," he snarled, "before I beat it out of you!" James didn't falter in his answer. "Go ahead. I don't even care anymore," he said in a monotone voice. Samuel was breathing hard, trying to control his rising temper, when an idea suddenly came to him.

"I'm sure you don't care about what happens to _you_," he said with an evil smile. "But what about your friends?" James' head snapped up and he looked at the man in confusion. Samuel's smile widened. "It would be a real shame it I had to go all the way to the Palm Woods to get them just because you wouldn't call them," he continued. The boy's eyes widened in dismay; he had him right where he wanted him. "So," Samuel said, "how about that phone call?" James hung his head as he punched in 2J's number and hit call.

The phone rang twice before someone finally picked up. "Hello?" Carlos asked. James felt like he was going to cry as he spoke. "Carlos…" he whimpered. "James!" Carlos cried. "Are you okay?" he asked worriedly. Tears blurred his vision as he answered. "Don't do it…" he murmured, his voice barely above a whisper. Samuel grabbed the phone from his hand and glared at him. "Listen up kid. I want $500,000 in cash. You pay it, and I'll let your friend go. You don't, you'll never see him again." James was shaking as he listened.

"NO!" he cried, lunging forward. He ignored the burning pain that coursed through his body and he reached for the phone. Samuel was so surprised that he let James take the phone from his hand. "Carlos, listen, don't pay the money, he's just gonna kill be anyway, don't- AHHHH!" he screamed as someone grabbed him by the hair. Samuel slammed the boy into the wall and he slid to the floor, crumpling into a heap on the wood. He picked up the phone from where it had been dropped. "Just get the money," he said coldly. "I'll contact you with the details soon." Without another word he hung up, turning to his prey. "You never learn, do you?" he said angrily. James lay still, hoping that he would pass out before any pain came. But much to his surprise, and great relief, Samuel just tied him back up, not even bothering with the gag, and left the room.

James lay in silence, breathing shallowly. When he had hit the wall his shoulder had taken most of the impact. Now it was throbbing along with his head, adding to the intense pain he was in. He was horrified by the turn things had taken. Even if his friends got the money, which he had no doubt they could do with Gustavo or Griffin's help, it wouldn't make a difference. Samuel was out for blood, and nothing was going to stop him from getting it. The ransom would just give everyone false hope and leave them more devastated than before. He couldn't let the people he loved suffer like that. He was going to have to get out somehow, but he was going to have to be a lot more careful this time. If he failed again, there was no doubt in his mind that he wouldn't live to try again.

He shifted around slowly, trying to get into a more comfortable position without causing himself too much pain. Finally he came to rest and started planning. He was going to make sure he got out of this, even if it was one of the last things he did. And he was determined to make sure it wouldn't be.

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**Well, looks like James is really determined to put an end to all this. But I'm not! Don't worry, I just mean I have a lot more stuff planned for this story. Remember to vote for having a sequel or not and until next time, adios!**


	7. Moments

Carlos stood in the kitchen, phone still clutched in his hand, unable to move. His breathing became uneven and tears sprang to his eyes. James was hurt. He sounded like he was hurt bad. Carlos had heard the shake in his words, the pain desperately hidden in his voice. James' cries echoed in his head, his screams of agony blocking everything out. Kendall and Logan walked into the kitchen, rubbing their eyes tiredly. They stopped when they saw the look on Carlos' face. "What's wrong?" Kendall asked immediately. Carlos didn't answer. Instead he let the phone slide from his hands and fell to his knees, sobbing.

Kendall and Logan hurried to their friend's side, dropping down next to him. "Carlos?" Kendall asked hesitantly. The boy didn't respond so Kendall and Logan pulled him into a hug. He buried his head in Logan's shirt and cried even harder.

Mrs. Knight watched from the door, having come to see what all the commotion was about. It took all her will power not to start crying herself. She was watching the boys break right before her very eyes and there was nothing she, or anyone else, could do. Only James could fix this, and he was the one person they couldn't have. She returned to her room before they realized she was there, knowing that she had to let them deal with this together, as only they could.

Carlos' crying had finally calmed down and now he was quietly sitting there, leaning into his friends' embraces. "Carlos…?" Kendall asked gently. He was afraid to ask, fearing that his already fragile friend would start crying again, but he had to know. "Carlos, can you tell us what happened?"

Said boy took a deep, shuddering breath. "He called," he murmured. The others froze. "What?" they asked simultaneously. Carlos closed his eyes. "James called. H-he sounded so… hurt. He was in so much pain, I could tell. A-and then that m-man from last night grabbed t-the phone and he said h-he wanted $500,000," he said quietly. "We can get that," Kendall said, feeling a little hope. But Carlos wasn't done yet.

"J-James took the phone and he was screaming n-not to d-do it, and that the guy would k-kill him anyways," he said. "A-and then I heard him scream in pain and there was a-a thud and then the man came back on and said that w-we had better get the money a-and that he would contact us soon," he finished, his voice breaking. Kendall and Logan stared at him, at a loss for words. "Guys, he was in so much pain," Carlos said, tears filling his eyes again. "I could tell. H-he-" the boy broke off with a choked sob and started crying again, this time joined by his friends.

The three of them sat crying on the kitchen floor for what felt like hours. Finally they all stood up at the same time, as though they had planned it. Wordlessly they went into the living room and sat on the couch. No one spoke, and no one needed too. Carlos closed his eyes and folded his hands in his lap, saying a silent prayer. _God, please, if you're listening to this, please help James. He doesn't deserve this. We need him back here. I don't know if we'll be able to take it if something happens to him. He's our best friend, and we all love him so much. Please, Lord, please bring him back to us. We need him. Please. In Jesus' name we pray, amen._

It was a short prayer, but it made him feel so much better. He felt a strange sense of peace come over him, and suddenly felt like everything would be okay. He knew it wouldn't be easy, and it was still going to be painful, but he knew that God would take care of James and himself and Kendall and Logan. They would find James, and everything would be okay. It just had to be.

* * *

Paige and Steve Diamond were good people. They had always donated to charity, they always made an honest effort to help those in need, and they loved their son with every fiber of their being. So why was this happening to them again? What had they done to deserve this pain? That's what they kept asking themselves as they sat waiting for their plane to arrive.

They were going to California. There was no way they were going to just sit around in Minnesota while their baby was missing several states away. As soon as they had gotten over the initial shock they had immediately booked the next flight to Los Angeles. They knew that there wasn't much they could do there, but they would be there when their son was found and returned to them, and that was all they needed.

Mrs. Diamond was leaning against her husband, lost in thought. She could remember every detail of that day James was taken. The panic at not being able to find her baby, the police coming to her house and asking her stupid question when they should have been out looking for her son, and finally when she and her husband had gotten a call announcing that James had been found. He had gotten out of the ordeal with only a few scrapes and bruises, but it had done so much more to them all. It had rocked their whole lives, shaken everything they thought they knew. It was the most horrible thing she had ever gone through, and now she was going through it again. A single tear slid down her cheek.

Mr. Diamond was deep in thought too, but unlike his wife, he was thinking about what his boy might be going through. He hoped with all his heart that James was okay, but he was afraid of what he would find when they got to L.A. How was his son, his 16 year old child, going to cope with being kidnapped again for the second time in ten years? Who would have done this? And on this day… this day! A thought crossed his find and his eyes widened as realization hit him. A name ran through his mind: Samuel Stenwell. The man who had kidnapped James ten years ago on this exact date. James' father felt himself go cold as another thought hit him: what if Stenwell had taken James again?

Then he frowned to himself. Stenwell was in jail, and would be for at least another ten years. He chastised himself for jumping to conclusions and turned his attention to the little TV that was hanging across from them. The news was on and he watched it, only half paying attention. Then three pictures came up with the words 'prison break' above them. Mr. Diamond looked at them curiously and froze as he recognized one of them. "In other news, three men escaped from prison a few days ago. Their names are Jack Glenstone, Aaron Marshal, and Samuel Stenwell."

Turning to his wife, Steve shook her shoulder to get her attention and pointed shakily at the TV. She looked at it in confusion before realizing what he was showing her. She put her hand over her mouth and let out a muffled cry, trying to control the tears that were threatening to fall. There was no doubt in the two's minds about who had taken their son. They knew that their son, their pride and joy, their baby boy, was in the hands of a madman.


	8. Help is on the way

**As always, thank you for all the amazing reviews! It is so amazing to have such awesome readers. And I know that these past few chapters have been kind of short, and I'm sorry for that, but hopefully they'll get a little longer soon. And now, back to the story!**

**Disclaimer: As much as I wish I did, I don't own Big Time Rush**

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James sat watching the door, praying that Samuel wouldn't walk in as he inched himself slowly across the room. Of course he didn't want Samuel in the room, but now more than ever it was important that his tormenter didn't walk in. It was all part the plan he had concocted in the long hours he had spent in the room. The plan was a long shot, and unlikely to work, and would probably amount to nothing, but if it did, Samuel would never know that he had even tried it. That is, as long as he didn't walk in anytime in the next few minutes.

Finally James reached where he wanted to be and turned around so that his hands could reach his last hope: the phone. Yes, the phone. Samuel had completely forgotten about it when he had left earlier. James knew that he couldn't escape on his own, but if his plan worked he wouldn't need to. The plan was simple: he was just going to call 911, ask for help, and hang up. He remembered Logan telling him that this was the fastest way to get the police to help you. He only hoped that his genius friend was right.

James slid his fingers over the keys, feeling for the right buttons. _Nine…, _he thought to himself as he pushed the first button. He winced as a beep left the phone but didn't stop. He quickly found the other number and pressed it twice. He moved his fingers one last time and found to call button. Beep.

The boy listened anxiously as the phone rang. Finally someone picked up. "Nine one one, what is your emergency?" a women's voice asked calmly. James bent over so that his mouth was right above the phone and whispered, "Please help me. My name is James and I've been kidnapped." Without another word he hit end and moved away from the phone, making it look as though he had never used it. Just moments later Samuel opened the door and looked in at James.

"How are you doing, James? Can I get you anything, some food or water, maybe?" James hadn't had anything to eat or drink since yesterday morning, and his stomach was screaming at him, begging for food. "No?" he asked, smiling evilly. James said nothing and stared straight ahead, not even acknowledging his captor. Samuel's smirk slid off his face and was replaced by a menacing anger. "Look at me when I'm talking to you," he snarled. James didn't move. Samuel stepped over to him and grabbed his hair, causing the boy to grimace in pain as his head was jerked to face him. "I don't know why you bother with the defiance act. I'm going to be your only company until the day you die, so you might as well treat me with a little more respect." James raised his eyebrows but said nothing.

Samuel frowned. "Seriously, no one is ever going to find you. You're little friends don't care enough to look and the police sure aren't going to find anything. You're stuck with me," he said wickedly, watching the boy's reaction. There was no change in attitude, much to his chagrin. He released his grip in the soft brown hair and gave James a swift kick in the ribs, earning a pained gasp. Samuel smiled at him as he stood up. "That's what I like to hear," he muttered to himself as James doubled over, clutching his side. He spun on his heal and left the room, leaving his captive in darkness again.

James lay there, holding his side as if it was his lifeline. Samuel had definitely cracked a couple of ribs, and had probably broken some as well judging by how badly it hurt to breathe. He tried to control his breathing to ease the pain. _Please hurry…_, he prayed as he stared into darkness. _Please._

* * *

Kendall, Carlos, and Logan were sitting on the couch, staring at the phone that rested on the little table in front of them. Mrs. Knight was talking quietly with Mr. and Mrs. Diamond in the kitchen. James' parents had arrived about an hour ago and had told the boys and Mrs. Knight all about Stenwell. Mrs. Knight had called the police to inform them of their suspicions and the officer had assured her that they would look into it immediately. Now the adults were talking in the kitchen while the boys waited for the phone to ring announcing that James had been found.

After what felt like hours of waiting the phone finally rang. All three teens lunged for it before all pulling back. They stared at it hesitantly. It could be the police or it could be James and his kidnapper. Carlos was still shaken from earlier, and another call like that would send him over the edge. Finally Kendall reached over and grabbed the phone. "Hello?" he asked uncertainly. "Hello, this if Officer Rios," a man answered from the other end. Kendall recognized the man as one of the policemen who had come to the Palm Woods the night before. "This is Kendall Knight," he said. "Is there any news on James?" Carlos and Logan leaned in to hear the conversation and the adults walked in to see what was going on. He quickly put the phone on speaker so that they could all hear.

"Yes, we do," Rios said kindly. Everyone gasped and looked at each other excitedly. "Well?" Kendall asked impatiently. "Well, we checked the names that you gave us earlier and looked at the video that was taken of the kidnapping and discovered that Samuel Stenwell is indeed the man who took James. The other two were the men who escaped with him, Jack Glenstone and Aaron Marshall." Everyone paled at the news, but Kendall pressed on. "Is there anything else?" he asked desperately.

The officer surprised him by answering. "Yes. There was a call to nine one one about half an hour ago from a young man asking for help and claiming he had been kidnapped. He said his name was James." Kendall's eyes widened. That had to be James. Rios continued. "We have a location that we're sending officers and paramedics too. You're welcome to come, but you'll have to stay with an officer until the area is secured." Kendall was grinning like a maniac while Carlos, Logan and his mother jumped up and cheered. Mr. and Mrs. Diamond were hugging each other and crying in relief. James was coming home.

* * *

James opened his eyes slowly as the door was once again opened and Samuel stepped in. He had somehow managed to fall asleep, which probably wasn't the best thing, because he suspected he had a concussion. Samuel walked over to him. "I'll break you eventually, you know," he said suddenly. James looked at him in confusion. "I know you still have some delusions that someone will find you and everything will be okay, but I'll crush those hopes soon enough. You know why that is? It's because _no one is coming_. No one is ever going to find you. What will it take to get it through that thick skull of yours? You're never going to be found!"

James sat in stubborn silence. Samuel sighed and looked down. He frowned as something caught his eye and his eyes widened. "Did you call someone?" he roared. Before James could answer, the sounds of police sirens filled the house.

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**OOOOOOHHHH! And the plot thickens! Haha, as always, I'll update by tommorow, and reviews will inspire me to write more!**


	9. Rescued?

**Anyone watch the new BTR episode last night? I just about died laughing when the boys were dressed up as buildings (although I'm not sure why, there were probably funnier moments than that) I also laughed when they were trying to kill all the ideas without girls and James was all like "I get nauseous when I..." Haha so funny:) Anyway here's chapter 9, and I hope you like it!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything Big Time Rush**

* * *

James and Samuel froze as the sound of police sirens whined in their ears. Samuel's eyes widened and he turned to James, murder in his eyes. "You called the cops?" he asked in disbelief. James nodded, relief evident on his face. Samuel's eyes darkened and he reached down and grabbed the boy by his shirt. Their faces were inches apart. "I really should just kill you now," Samuel said quietly. Fear flashed through James' eyes, but he remained quiet. "But then I wouldn't get to have any more fun with you," he said, smirking. "So here's what I'm going to do."

He released James' shirt and crossed the room, grabbing a roll of duct tape from the bureau. He quickly tore off a piece and wrapped it firmly around James' mouth, preventing him from making any noise. Then he pulled out a knife and grabbed him again, pressing the blade into the boy's neck. Slowly he began dragging James toward the front door.

"You're going to get away today, but so am I, and you can bet I'll be back. You might think that everything is going to be okay, but that's a lie. Something good might come along and cover up all the bad stuff that happened here, but that doesn't you'll be fine. You'll still remember all the stuff that I've done to you, and you'll still have to worry about when I'll come back, because I will, that's a promise." James was shaking as he was dragged to the door.

"This is the police! Come out with your hands up!" Someone shouted from outside. Samuel flung open the door and pushed James into the doorway, still holding the knife to his neck. "Hello officers," he said calmly.

James looked around him, trying not to move his neck. He saw several police cars and a bunch of cops, all holding guns pointed at him and Samuel. An ambulance was nearby, something he took great relief in. And about a hundred feet back, behind a police car stood… his friends and family. They were staring at him in horror and they all looked like they were about to start crying. "Remember what I said," Samuel whispered. Then he let James go and pushed him forward, quickly stepping backwards and slamming the door before anyone could react. James tumbled down the front steps and lay still.

He lay on the ground with his eyes closed, feeling tired. He could dimly hear people screaming and shouting and the sound of people rushing towards him. Someone knelt beside him and he felt a stranger's hand touch his neck, feeling for a pulse. "I need paramedics over here!" someone shouted. He felt himself falling in and out of consciousness, and was dully aware that someone was screaming his name. The next thing he knew he was being lifted onto a stretcher while his friends and family crowded around him, crying and shouting.

"James please wake up!"

"Come on son, you can do it!"

"Be strong, we're gonna get you help!"

"You're going to be okay, James!"

"Hang on, man, it's all over!"

"Oh my god, my baby!"

He could hear his loved ones trying to help him, begging him to wake up as he was loaded into the ambulance. He wanted to respond so badly, but he just didn't have the strength. He heard people moving around him, hooking him up to IV's and checking a bunch of equipment, and he felt someone holding his hand, crying next to him. "Please, baby, please be okay. Please wake up," his mother cried. Forcing his eyes open he whispered, "Mom…" Then everything spun and he let himself slip into unconsciousness.

* * *

Kendall, Carlos, Logan, Mrs. Knight, and Mr. Diamond watched in horrified silence as the ambulance drove away. They had all agreed that Mrs. Diamond should ride with her son, but the boys secretly wished that they could have gone instead. Seeing James being held by that creep had been terrible. They'd known he was hurt, but actually seeing him had left them shocked and scared to death. What he happened to him before the police had gotten to him? They saw Stenwell whisper something to James before shoving him forward, sending him tumbling down the steps. He didn't move. They had all rushed to him and crowded around him, trying to wake him up. But he didn't. The paramedics had assured them that was alive and would be fine, but it was still so hard to look at him. Then he had been taken away to the hospital with his mother, leaving them crying on the dirt road.

Officer Rios walked over to them and offered a sympathetic look. "I'm sorry you had to see that," he said kindly. "Just tell me you caught the creep who did this to my son," Mr. Diamond said, his voice shaking in anger. The officer suddenly looked uncomfortable. "Well… we caught two of the men, Jack Glenstone and Aaron Marshal, but… Stenwell got out through the back door and escaped into the woods. We have officers looking for him, but those woods are huge. It's unlikely that we'll find him tonight. I'm sorry," he said looking away. The group stared at him in shock. "What?" Carlos whispered in disbelief. "No," he said, his voice shaking. "You have to find him. What if he comes back? What if he hurts James more?" Kendall put a hand on his shoulder to silence him, but he was staring hard at Rios. "Well?" he demanded.

Rios looked distressed. "We're going to do everything we can to find Stenwell. In the meantime, we'll have someone guarding James at all times. We won't let anything happen to him, I promise," he said. Before Carlos could argue with him, Mrs. Knight spoke. "We should get to the hospital," she said gently but firmly. Everyone nodded in agreement and piled into the car. The drive was silent, everyone lost in their worries for their friend and son.

* * *

At the hospital, Mrs. Diamond was pacing in the waiting room, anxiously awaiting news on her son. She stopped every doctor and nurse that passed her, asking for news on James, but no one knew anything. She looked up as her husband and James' friends rushed in and immediately bombarded her with questions.

"Where is he?"

"Is he okay?"

"Can we see him?"

She shook her head. "I don't know," she said quietly, tears leaking from her eyes. Everyone quieted and stood there awkwardly. Finally they settled into chairs and waited. This was going to be a long night.

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About an hour later a doctor came out. "James Diamond?" he asked. Everyone jumped and surrounded him. "My name is Dr. Santos. Are you all for James?" he asked, slightly surprised. They all nodded impatiently. "How is James?" Kendall burst out. The doctor instantly sobered. "James is going to be fine," he said. Everyone sighed in relief. "But," Dr. Santos continued, "he's in bad shape. He has a major concussion, three cracked ribs, and two broken ones. He has severe bruising on his right shoulder and stomach, along with smaller bruises all over the rest of his body. His wrists were very raw and appeared to have been bleeding, probably a result of chafing ropes. He had a lot of small cuts all over his body, and he's suffering from malnutrition and dehydration." Mrs. Diamond gasped and the others' eyes were practically popping out their sockets.

Logan stared at the doctor, feeling sick. He had always wanted to be a doctor, but was this what he had to look forward to? Telling people how damaged their loved ones were? He shuddered. This was so horrible and hard to deal with. How would he do this all the time? _Poor James_, he thought. As the doctor had just said, James was in bad shape. He would be in so much pain when he woke up. "Wait," Logan said. "Is James awake?"

Dr. Santos looked troubled. "No," he said. "His head had obviously been hit several times, which gave him a concussion. He should hopefully be fine, but there's no telling when he'll wake up." Kendall frowned. "Well how long do you think it will be?" he asked. "It could be a few hours or it could be a few days. It could be even longer," he said sadly. Everyone froze. Longer? Carlos felt like he couldn't breathe. He sank into a chair, afraid that his legs wouldn't be able to hold him. "Oh my God…" Mr. Diamond said.

The doctor stood there, looking uncomfortable. Then he jumped, as if he suddenly remembered something. "Oh, you can see him if you'd like, but please keep it down to a minimum of three people at a time." They group jumped up and followed the doctor down the hall. He led them to a door and stepped back. "I'll leave give you some times alone," he said kindly, walking off.

James' parents went in first. They spent about a half hour in the room before they walked back out, tears streaming from their eyes. "Would you like me to take you home?" Kendall's mother asked gently. Mr. Diamond nodded and led his wife towards the exit. "I'll come back for you as soon as I get them home," she whispered to the boys. They nodded and watched as the adults left, leaving them alone outside James' door.

They just stood there for a minute, hesitant to go inside, afraid of what they would find. Finally they stepped forward, not knowing what to expect. They all took a deep breath and walked into the bright white room that held their broken friend.

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**Incredible amounts of angst are coming up and a life changing choice will be made. Please review, because they make my life so much happier:)**


	10. Please

**Okay, I've decided that I'm definately doing a sequel to this. There's only a few more chapters left, and then it'll be up, although I'm still deciding on a name. It will have Samuel, of course, and his attempts to get revenge... again. Also, this chapter is really angsty, for all the boys, and James is going to have to make a big decision, one that will change everyone's life's forever. So read on my dear readers, and I hope you enjoy! **

**Disclaimer: I don't own BTR, blah blah blah... you know the rest**

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The boys stared at the boy on the bed. James looked so… beaten. His cuts and bruises screamed at them, magnified against the bright white of the hospital room. They could see dark blotches over almost every inch of his skin that wasn't covered by the thin sheets. He looked like he should be in a lot of pain, but instead he appeared to be so… peaceful.

Each boy pulled up a chair and sat around James, unsure of what they should do. It was Carlos who spoke first. "James…" he said softly. "James, I don't know if you can hear me, but if you can, please, just listen. I know that you must in an unbelievable amount of pain, and you've been through a lot in the past few day-" He ignored the glares that Kendall and Logan were giving him and pressed on. "But I need you to know that we're all here for you. Your mom and dad, and Kendall and Logan and me, and Mrs. Knight, and everyone else. We're going to be there right by your side, fighting with you every step of the way. Things might seem bad right now, but I promise that everything will be okay."

James remained still, doing nothing to acknowledge anything that Carlos had just said. Carlos gripped the unconscious boy's hand as he spoke, tears slipping down his face. Logan spoke next. "Carlos is exactly right. We're going to do everything we can to get you through this. We know it won't be easy, but when has anything we've ever done been not been at least a little hard? But we've gotten through everything that's been thrown at us together, and that's how we'll get through this: together."

"I'm not gonna lie to you. We're scared. We're so terrified of what going to happen to you, and us, because we don't know what to do. The situation was out of our control, and even though it's not now, that doesn't change anything that happened. This is the hardest thing that any of us have ever gone through, and it's not over yet. But we have one thing that's going to keep us sane until everything's okay again: each other." Logan broke off and sat back, completely believing everything that he had just said. He thought of his conversation with Kendall the night before and what Carlos had just said and realized that they were right: everything would be okay.

Kendall had sat back and watched his conscious friends talk to his unconscious one, trying to control his tears. Now he leaned forward and took the hand that Carlos wasn't holding, staring at James' face. "James…" he murmured. "Come on man, please wake up. We need you. You heard Carlos and Logan; we're here for you. We're not going to let anything happen to you. All the pain Stenwell and his friends caused you is over, and now we're going to get you through this. But first you need to wake up."

"You're like a brother to all of us. In fact, sometimes I forget that we're not really related. We've been through everything together, and nothing is going to change that. You've changed our lives in ways that you can't imagine, and we need you to stay alive and keep doing that. Life without you won't be livable, because nothing will ever be the same without you. We have to go on tour and become famous together, and we can only do that with you. But we need you for reasons way more important than that. You're kind, and funny, and obsessed with making yourself and the rest of us look good. You throw amazing parties, you make a great elbow model, and you're great at accidently asking girls out. You're dreams got us to L.A., and you motivate us to sing every day. There are so many other reasons we need you," Kendall said, eyes shining with unshed tears, "but they won't matter if you don't come back to us. So please, James, please, I will get on my knees and beg. Please wake up. Please…" Then the dam broke and tears were pouring from his eyes and he was crying, crying for James and his friends and himself, and for all the pain that they'd gone through and that was yet to come.

* * *

James was floating. At least that's what it felt like. He was surrounded by blackness and there was no sound. But the thing that surprised him the most? He didn't feel any pain. He tried to move, but in the infinite blackness he couldn't tell if he was going anywhere or not. While he walked he looked around, trying to find a break in the darkness. It was suffocating, but with each step he somehow felt more at peace. He felt calmer and more at ease than he had in a few days, or even longer, because for once he wasn't worried about singing or dancing or getting into trouble or even his looks. Everything felt like it was going to be okay.

James walked for what felt like hours before the blackness finally broke. Ahead of him was a bright white light that grew brighter with every step. Finally the light was right on top of him and he stopped, staring into it. The light gave off a comforting warmth that washed over him. The heat brought back memories of times spent with his friends by the pool and he found himself hesitating. The light was calling him, drawing James into the blissful glow, but somehow he knew that if he crossed into it he'd never get to turn back.

Part of James wanted that. He could cross over and he would be happy forever. He was fairly certain that by taking another step forward he would never feel any pain again and that nothing would ever hurt him. He wanted that more than anything, but something was holding him back: his friends and family.

If he stepped through, he'd never see them again. Although his suffering would end, there's would continue on. He would be abandoning them, leaving them to take all the pain just because he was being selfish. Could he do that to them? Then another thought hit him. He was dying and giving up on himself. Hadn't that been what Samuel wanted all along? If he let go, he'd not only be hurting his loved ones, but letting the one he hated win. He couldn't let that happen.

As if reading his thoughts, the silence was broken and he could hear voices from far behind him. He didn't have to turn around to know they belonged to his friends. First he heard Carlos. His voice faded in and out, but James could still hear little bits of what he was saying. _"Please, just listen… I need you to know that we're all here for you… We're going to be by your side… Everything will be okay."_

Then Logan's voice picked up where Carlos had left off. _"We're going to do everything we can to get you through this… We've gotten through everything that's been thrown at us together… We're so terrified of what's going to happen to you, and us…_ _But we have one thing that's going to keep us sane until everything's okay again: each other." _James still stood facing the light, but his friends' words hit him as if they were right next to him. The light faded a little as he took a hesitant step back, but he couldn't bring himself to turn around.

There was a brief silence and then Kendall's voice filled the absolute quiet. _"James… Come on man, please wake up. We need you…. We're not going to let anything happen to you… You're like a brother to all of us… You've changed our lives in ways that you can't imagine, and we need you to stay alive and keep doing that. Life without you won't be livable, because nothing will ever be the same without you. We have to go on tour and become famous together, and we can only do that with you. But we need you for reasons way more important than that. You're kind, and funny, and obsessed with making yourself and the rest of us look good. You throw amazing parties, you make a great elbow model, and you're great at accidently asking girls out. You're dreams got us to L.A., and you motivate us to sing every day. There are so many other reasons we need you but they won't matter if you don't come back to us. So please, James, please, I will get on my knees and beg. Please wake up. Please…" _The last part cut off as Kendall's sobs drowned out anything else that might have been said.

James listened as Kendall, the strong one, the leader, the one who could handle anything, broke down. He felt his heart grow heavy in his chest and suddenly he knew what to do. He took a deep breath and took one last look at the beckoning brightness before him. He took a step and without a second thought turned around and walked back to everything he had almost left behind. His walk was a lot shorter than his one from earlier had been, and soon after it began it ended. Then, without any warning, he felt himself falling. Then there was a flash of pain and he felt something soft wrapped around him. He heard Kendall's crying and felt two different hands holding each of his in a tight grip. He squeezed them gently and heard two gasps before everything was quiet.

"J-James?" Kendall asked, almost unable to believe that his friend was awake. James' lips curled into a small smile and he slowly opened his eyes. "Hi guys," he mumbled as he stared up into their shocked, suddenly hope-filled faces. "What did I miss?"

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**And so he chooses to live:) Not that I would ever let him die, even I'm not that cruel. Tell me what you liked, didn't like, and what you'd like more of in a review, and get ready for the next chapter!**


	11. Talking

**Okay, I'm really excited cause I got this stuff put in my hair, which is super curly and frizzy and thick and HORRIBLE, and now it looks amazing! I've never seen it look this good, and I'm so happy:) I feel like James, haha. Anyway, I can't get my hair wet AT ALL so I'm basically stuck at home for the next few day, but that's okay because that means I can work on Repetition! Yay! I've gotten through chapter 13, and let me tell you, that chapter is so full of angst it makes me want to cry. In fact I did cry when I was in the middle of it. You'll see why soon, and don't worry, no one dies. Also, I put up a new poll on my profile page asking which BTR member is your favorite. I'm kind of curious as to who you all like best. Anyway, on to what chapter we have right now!**

**Discalimer: Although owning BTR would make me the happiest person in the world, I don't, which might be a good thing cause I would make everyone who watched them cry.**

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All three boys stared at James before jumping at him, grabbing him a tight group hug. James smiled as their arms wrapped around him, glad to see them again, but his grin soon turned into a grimace as they squeezed his bruised and battered body. "Guys…" he mumbled weakly. His friends jumped back like they'd been shocked, panic in all of their eyes. "Oh my gosh James, we're so sorry!" Kendall exclaimed. James smiled again, this time reassuringly. "It's fine Kendall, don't worry about. Seriously, you guys have spent enough time worrying about me. I know that I'm fine, and that I'm going to be okay," he said, his smile wavering as he thought about Samuel's last threat. _You'll still remember all the stuff that I've done to you, and you'll still have to worry about when I'll come back, because I will, that's a promise._ He quickly shook it off, deciding that his friends were more important at the moment. "But what about you all?"

The boys just looked at him, unable to respond to James' question. Finally Carlos spoke up, disbelief making his words slow. "Are… you… serious?" he asked, almost unable to form the words. "_You_- the one who was just kidnapped and nearly beaten to death and _unconscious _for several hours- are asking _us _is we're okay?" James frowned at him. "Um, yeah, I'm pretty sure that's what I said," he said. "Are you kidding me!" Carlos exploded.

James jumped a little at Carlos harsh tone and shrunk back as memories of Samuel came back. Carlos noticed this and winced. "Sorry," he said guiltily. "But seriously, how are you worried about us? Nothing happened to us, just to you. You must be in an unbelievable amount of pain, and all you can think about is how we feel?" James frowned again. "I'm actually not in as much pain as I was before. I must have a little morphine in me or something because it was ten times worse earlier. And like I said, I know that I'll be fine, but I have absolutely no clue what this has been like for you," he explained. "And I know that you're not all fine, because if any of you were in my place I know that I wouldn't be. So I'll ask again; how are you?"

Carlos just shook his head and looked away. Kendall looked like he wanted to say something but would start crying if he opened his mouth, something that greatly troubled James. Logan was the only one who was willing to answer. "We're scared; we're angry; we're confused. In all honesty, we don't know what to feel. In all our life experiences nothing like this has ever happened. How exactly are we supposed to feel? The emotions we feel are so overwhelming. It's like they're all fighting to be in control and they're all winning. It makes us so incredibly angry that someone would take you from us, and cause you so much pain. And it hurts that you care more about us than you do about yourself, but it also makes us feel better that you still care about us. And we're still so scared that Stenwell's going to come back for you since he got away…" James stiffened at his friend's last words and Logan's eyes widened in horror. "Oh God…" he whispered.

James tried to smile, but everyone could see right through it. "James, I'm sorry… I didn't mean to… It just slipped out, I… I'm so sorry," he said, mentally slapping himself. James shook his head. "He never breaks his promises…" he whispered, saying it so quietly that the others almost didn't hear him. "What do you mean?" Logan asked hesitantly, not wanting to push his already damaged friend over the edge. But James didn't respond, just stared into space as he was lost in a memory from ten years ago…

_Flashback…_

_James was huddled in a small closet, listening as the strange men who had taken him laughed drunkenly outside. He was crying quietly, tears silently rolling down his cheeks as he desperately wished for his mommy and daddy. His cheek and shoulders were hurting from where he'd been hit and dragged, but he was mostly okay. He listened to the men outside, wishing they would just be quiet and take him back to his house._

_"Taking that kid was a good idea, Samuel," someone slurred. The man laughed and continued. "The little brat might be a worthless piece of crap, but his parents'll pay a lot to get him back. Not sure why, he's just a burden on them…" The others laughed and agreed while James covered his ears with his hands, tears falling faster than ever. "Stop it!" he screamed, which just made the men laugh more. "My mommy and daddy love me! They say so all the time! You're lying!" he sobbed._

_Before any of them could say anything he heard a loud bang and a new voice. "Freeze, police!" James felt his heart fill with hope. The police! His parents were always telling him that the police would help him in an emergency. And this was definitely an emergency._

_He heard a bunch of shouts and thuds from outside. Then it got really quiet and he could hear footsteps moving away from him. He began to panic, fearing that they were going to leave without him. "Wait!" he cried. There was a pause, and then he heard someone walking towards him. The door was flung open and two policemen stood before him, looking at him in concern. "Are you James?" one asked gently. He nodded and flung himself into the officer's arms, bawling. He felt himself being lifted and carried. The officer took him outside, where all the bad men were being handcuffed and pushed into police cars. The flashing lights lit the area up in blue and red, allowing him to see everything that was going on. _

_"Hey kid!" someone shouted at him. James looked up to try and find who was talking to him. He saw the man who had appeared to be the leader, Samuel, being led to a police car. "Don't forget about me kid, because as soon as I get out of jail, I'm going to find you. I'm going to hunt you down, and when I find you, I'm going to kill you, that's a promise. And I _never _break my promises." He was shoved into the back of a squad car, smiling maniacally. "See you soon, kid!" he yelled as the door was slammed shut. James buried his face into the chest of the officer that was holding him, trying to hide from the bad man. Someone wrapped something warm and soft around him and he looked up to see a kind faced woman. "Can I take a look at your ouchies?" She asked the six-year-old gently. He nodded and she took him from the officer's arms, carrying him over to the ambulance._

_A few hours later he was back at home, safe in his mom and dad's arms. They assured him that the bad men were going to jail, and that they would never hurt him again. He thought back to Samuel's promise and hoped that they were right, and that Samuel wouldn't make good on his promise. He allowed himself to relax into their hug and fell asleep like that, no longer afraid._

_End flashback…_

"James?" Logan asked again. James's head snapped up and he met his friends' concerned looks. "I'm sorry, what?" he said. The others exchanged looks. "You said something about him never breaking his promises…" Logan pressed. "Oh." There was an awkward silence, broken, surprisingly, by Kendall. "Well?" he asked expectantly. "Are you going to tell us what you meant by that?" James hesitated, then nodded, taking a deep breath.

"When… When Stenwell kidnapped me the first time, he promised that when he got out of jail he would come back for me and… kill me. He said that he never broke his promises, and apparently he doesn't. And when you guys found me, before he opened to door and pushed me out, he told me that he was going was going to come back for me again, and that that was a promise." He looked up at his friends with scared, pain filled eyes. "And he never breaks his promises," he said, voice breaking as tears filled his eyes. Then he broke down sobbing.

"I'm sorry," he cried. "This is all my fault," he whimpered, refusing to look at his friends. They were all staring at him in a strange mix of horror and sympathy. "James…" Carlos murmured sadly. Kendall and Logan watched as the boy wept pitifully. Then anger exploded in Kendall's heart and he grabbed James' hand, staring hard at his best friend. "Don't you _dare _apologize for what he did, James. It's no one's fault but his, and it's especially not yours. He's a sick, sadistic creep who likes to torture innocent people like you. He doesn't deserve to live, let alone make you feel like this. You have nothing to be sorry for, except being such a great friend. I swear that if he _ever_ tries to hurt you again I'll kill him, because no one, and I mean _no one_, hurts my friends and gets away with it," he said, pulling James into a gentle but firm hug. His friends soon joined in, this time being extremely careful not to hurt James again, but if he was feeling any pain, they wouldn't be able to tell, because the only thing he was doing was crying, unable to do anything else.

The four BTR members, one broken and the others breaking, sat hugging each other, unwilling to move, as tears poured down each of their faces. Logan was thinking about how hard this was going to be, Carlos was praying that they would get through this in one piece, Kendall was hoping that James would realize that they would keep him safe, and James was wishing on everything he had that it would all eventually be okay. And with his friends at his side, he was beginning to believe that it just might be.

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**Poor boys:( And chapter 13 is going to be even worse. Still great (I think) but worse. I might post it with Ch12, but I haven't decided, cause I might need to prepare myself for the hate that some of you are going to rain down on me and the love that the rest of you will shower me in (again, you'll see what I mean). You'll know by tomorrow, I guess. Until then, don't kill me for making you wait, because then I'll never be able to post it! (Unless I come back as a ghost or zombie or something... I need to lay off the sugar and get more sleep)**


	12. Visiting hours

**Okay, I think I'm going to wait and post chapter 13 tomorrow, but I might crack and post it today. I don't know. I've decided that there's only going to be 14 chapters, but that's only because I'm doing a sequel, which has yet to be named. The rest of the story is kind of sad, but it gets a little happier, don't worry. And by the way, everyone who loves James kidnapping stuff needs to go read 'Blood Atonement' by Year 3000 **_**right now**_**. It's seriously awesome. And if you haven't read 'Monster' by One Man Writing Games you need to slap yourself and read that as well. They're both amazing. So go read now! And now onto chapter 12!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Big Time Rush *sigh***

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Kendall, Logan, and Carlos spent the next few hours with James, telling him about what had been going on with them while he was gone. James' eyes lit up when the informed him that his parents had come to L.A., and he was anxious to see them. Kendall had already called his mother to let her know that James was awake, but since visiting hours were almost over the Diamonds had decided, albeit reluctantly, to come first thing in the morning. Dr. Santos had come in to check on James, and he had assured that boys that their friend was going to be fine. It felt so good to be with James, so it made them upset when a nurse informed them that visiting hours were over and that they would have to leave.

"Can't we just stay here?" Kendall asked desperately. The nurse looked sympathetic but still shook her head. "I'm sorry boys, but it's the rules. You can come in first thing in the morning," she said gently. "But we need to stay here!" Carlos said stubbornly. The nurse sighed. "I'm sorry, but you can't. You really need to leave now, or you'll get in trouble." The boys looked like they wanted to argue more, but James cut them off. "Guys, she's right. You need to go home."

They all spun around to face him, looking betrayed. "But-" James cut Logan off. "You guys need to go home and get some rest. I'm sure you haven't been sleeping very well, and collapsing from exhaustion isn't going to help me," he explained. They still looked reluctant, something that he didn't fail to notice. "I'll still be here in the morning," he reminded them. Finally they nodded and gave him one last hug before turning to go. Kendall stopped in the doorway. "If we get a call from the hospital about you for _any reason_, we're coming straight back here and we're not going to leave again. Got it?" James chuckled and nodded. "Got it." Kendall nodded in approval and left.

James was left alone in the room with the nurse. "Are you in a lot of pain? Do you need something?" she asked. He gave her a small smile. "I'm really sore," he admitted, "but I'm okay for right now. Mainly I'm just tired." The nurse nodded in understanding. "Well, just get some rest, and if you need anything just press that emergency button and someone will come help you." James nodded and she left the room, turning off the lights as she went.

For the first time since he'd woken up, James felt alone. He knew that there were hundreds of other people right outside his door, but laying there alone and in the dark made him feel like he was the only one there. He hadn't really wanted his friends to leave, but he knew that they would go crazy in the small room if they stayed there all night, much like he was now. The room was perfectly comfortable, but it was just so _small_, and that and the fact that it was dark except for a little light coming in from a window by the door reminded him a little too much of the room he'd been held captive in. The only difference was the steady beep of the heart monitor, which was driving him crazy. But at least he was alive.

Despite all this, James quickly fell asleep. He had no dreams, much to his immense relief, because he had been so afraid that the minute he closed his eyes all he'd be able to see was Samuel. But now, for at least one night, he would be able to sleep peacefully without having to worry about the man who had tormented him for the past couple of days. Yeah right.

James was shaken awake in the middle of the night. He blinked sleepily and looked around expecting to see a nurse or something. Suddenly a hand shot out of the darkness and covered his mouth, muffling his cry of surprise. Someone stepped out of the shadows and leaned down so that James could see his face. "I told you I keep my promises," Samuel said, smiling evilly down at the boy.

James let out a muffled cry and began thrashing in Samuel's grip. Samuel slapped him across the face and he stopped struggling, staring up at the man who had caused him so much pain, fear evident in his eyes. "Didn't think you'd see me this soon, did you," Samuel said. There was no hint of doubt in his voice. "You would have thought that they would've left a guard outside your door or something, but I guess the cops have more important things to do than guard some punk kid. By the way, I saw your friends earlier." James froze and looked up at him with wide eyes. "Yeah, they walked right past me and didn't recognize me at all. But then again, who would be crazy enough to pull something in a hospital? No one's that crazy, not even me." At his words, James felt a little bit of relief, but not much. Samuel wasn't going to do anything with him… for now.

As if reading his thoughts, Samuel said, "Oh, don't think you're off the hook. I'm still going to come back for you. I just came here tonight so that you would know that I can get you anywhere, anytime, even where you think you're completely safe. If your little buddies were here, you'd also know that even they can't protect you. They won't even be able to protect themselves." James couldn't take it anymore. _No one _threatened his friends.

James bit down on Samuel's hand as hard as he could, causing the man to gasp in pain and pull his hand away from the boy's mouth. "HELP!" James screamed, punching the emergency button. Samuel cursed and glared at him murderously. "You shouldn't have done that," he said menacingly. But instead of hitting him, he jumped up and ran out the door. James lay there, shaking and crying. A nurse and his doctor ran in, looking around to see what was wrong. "James?" the doctor asked gently. "Calm down, son, I'm sure it was just a bad dream." James shook his head wildly. "No! It wasn't a d-dream. H-he was h-here." The medical professionals looked at him with wide eyes. "Are you sure?" the doctor asked, trying to hide his panic. James nodded and pointed to his face, which was red from where Samuel had hit him. Dr. Santos turned to the nurse. "Call security and the police and tell them what happened," he said quickly. The nurse ran off and the doctor quickly walked to James' side. "You're safe now son," he said soothingly. "He won't get near you again." James continued to cry, knowing that no matter how much he wanted it to be true, it wouldn't be until Samuel got what he wanted: James dead.

* * *

Kendall was pulled out of his slumber by the phone ringing. He looked around and saw Logan and Carlos passed out on the couch next to him. "Guys," he whispered, nudging Logan with his foot. Neither one of them stirred. Kendall sighed and stood up, looking around for the phone. He found it on the kitchen counter and quickly picked it up. "Hello?" he asked sleepily. "This is Nurse Shelley from Los Angeles Medical Center. Is there a guardian for James Diamond there?" Kendall felt his chest tighten. James?

"His parents and my mother, who is a temporary legal guardian, are all asleep right now. Is there anything I can do?" he asked, trying to remain calm. "Wake them up and tell them that they need to get down to the hospital immediately," she said. Kendall's heart plummeted. "Why?" he asked worriedly, almost afraid of what her answer would be. "The man who kidnapped James came to the hospital and visited him in his room. James is fine, but the man got away and James is very shaken up. I think it would be best if someone he could trust was here with him." Kendall paled. Stenwell was in the hospital? He'd gotten to James again? "We'll be right down," he said shakily, and he hung up. He'd broken his promise to James. He'd sworn that he wouldn't let Stenwell hurt him again, but he had. Stenwell never broke his promises.

He quickly snapped out of his shock. "Everyone wake up!" he screamed. Logan sat up immediately while Carlos fell off the couch. His mother and James' parents rushed out of their rooms and everyone looked at him in confusion. "Kendall, what's wrong?" Mrs. Knight asked, seeing how pale her son looked. Kendall looked at all of them with scared, worried eyes and said one word that had them all running to the door: "James."

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**Oh no, James! How many times have I said that during this story? Anyway, prepare yourself for a boat load, no a **_**Titanic load**_**, of angst. Seriously, I was crying as I wrote it. But this story is almost done, so don't hate me too much (because we have a sequel coming up) Anyway, reviews are always appreciated (and my life kind of revolves around them:)**


	13. A push towards the edge

**Okay, so I broke down and decided to post this chapter (I also made a deal with One Man Writing Games, which helped me with this decision.) This chapter is really sad, and I cried writing it. You'll see why. Thank you for all the wonderful reviews! It means so much to me, you have no idea. And now onto the chapter!**

**Disclaimer: When I own Big Time Rush I will be the happiest person in the world but until that day comes...**

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James was sitting in his bed as a police officer talked to his parents. Everyone had run into the hospital like they were being chased by… well, there wasn't anything that he could think of that would make anyone run that fast. The police had already taken his statement and the doctor had checked him over and now his friends were crowded around him, looking panicked. James had stopped crying a while ago, and now he looked around at everyone with lifeless eyes.

"James…" Kendall said, his voice breaking. James slowly raised his head to look at his friend. He tried to keep all emotion from his face, because what he was about to do hurt him more than anything he had ever had to do. But he had to do it. There was no other way. "You lied," he whispered.

Carlos and Logan looked at him in surprise, but Kendall hung his head in shame. "I'm so sorry," he said quietly, unable to look at his friend. James shook his head, trying to act disappointed and hurt. He didn't have to try hard, because he was already feeling like that, but not at Kendall, just at himself for what he was doing. "You said that you wouldn't let me get hurt again. You promised that he would never get me again, and that everything would be okay. You lied, all of you," he said. They looked at him, and he nearly broke down and called off his plan when he saw the pain in their faces. But he couldn't do that. This was the only way.

"James, we didn't mean to lie. We meant everything we said," Carlos said desperately, but James just shook his head again. "It doesn't matter; you still lied. And now I can't trust you." His friends looked at him, tears filling their eyes. "James…" Logan said in shock, unable to believe what he was hearing. "Just get out," James said quietly. The boys made no move to leave, staring at him in with stricken faces. "I said OUT!" he said coldly. With tears in their eyes Kendall, Carlos, and Logan slowly stood up and backed out of the room, looking like they'd just been punched in the stomach.

"Boys?" Mr. Diamond asked, frowning. They looked at him, dazed. "We'll see you later," Kendall mumbled, before turning and walking quickly away with Logan and Carlos on his heels. Mr. and Mrs. Diamond exchanged concerned looks and stepped into James' room. "What was that all about?" Mrs. Diamond asked.

James looked at them with the same dead look he'd given his friends. _This is the only way…,_ he told himself. "Nothing," he muttered. His mother sat on his bed and looked at him, worried. "Are you okay, sweetie?" she asked in concern, frowning at the vacant look in her son's eyes. He nodded, looking her in the eyes. There was no life in his usually sparkling irises, something that bothered the two adults immensely. "Do you want to talk about it?" his dad asked hesitantly. James glared at them, shaking his head. "You didn't want to talk about it when you called the other day," he said venomously. "Why should now be any different?"

His parents looked at him in surprise, but they didn't look hurt yet. He'd have to try harder. "You don't have to act like this is a big deal to you, that I'm a big deal to you. I know what you think of me, and I've accepted it," he said. They looked at him in confusion and a glimmer distress flashed across their faces. _Just a little more, _James thought miserably. "Don't act dumb," he said, pretending to be upset. "I know that you never wanted me and that you think I'm good for nothing. It's fine, I can deal with that. But don't pretend you feel anything different. I know it's a lie." Both of his parents looked wounded, like they'd just been told the world was ending. "James, that's not-" his mother tried to say, but he cut her off. "Just stop. I can't take the lies anymore. Please, just leave," he said softly. "But James-" his father said frantically. "JUST LEAVE!" James yelled. His chest hurt as he watched them, but he had to do this. They looked at him, their hearts breaking, and slowly stood up, just as Kendall, Carlos, and Logan had done. Mrs. Diamond started crying and Mr. Diamond put his arm around her, giving his son one last pleading look before leading her from the room, leaving James alone.

James let his façade drop and stared at the closed door, tears filling his eyes. _This is the only way,_ he told himself miserably. _This is the only way that Samuel won't be able to hurt them._ Tears slipped from his eyes and for what felt like the millionth time in the past few days he found himself crying. Samuel wouldn't hurt them if he thought James hated them. This was the only way. He had to push everyone away, keep everyone he loved at arm's length, no matter how much it hurt. He had to keep them safe, because no one else could.

_Whoever said pain makes you stronger was dead wrong. Pain breaks you. It's like... if a glass bowl falls and breaks, you can put it back together again, but there will be cracks and it won't be completely whole. It leaves it weaker than it used to be. Humans aren't any different,_ he mused. _When we break, we try to fix ourselves and convince everyone that we're ok. But then something comes along that pushes us to our limit, and as we're falling apart, it becomes painfully clear to ourselves and everyone else that we aren't as strong as we seem. But at least we have people who love us to lean on. At least we have friends and family that will lend us their strength when we don't have enough of our own. Unless you're me_, he thought bitterly. _Then you have use what little strength you have left to push the ones that can help you away, because if you don't then they'll get broken too. And I can't let that happen._

James was full out sobbing now, hating himself for what he'd done. _As long as they're safe,_ he told himself, but he wasn't convinced. Oh well. It was too late to change anything now. He was just going to have to live with his decision, even though it might be the thing that sent him over the edge. He stared at the bright white ceiling, counting all the little holes, trying to find something, anything, to distract himself.

He knew he was safe. The police had left someone to guard his door, and the hospital security was watching every entrance and exit to make sure that Samuel wouldn't be able to get back in. But it didn't make a difference. Samuel would still find a way to get him, even if he had to wait for James to get out of the hospital.

Somewhere after hole #450 James fell asleep. In his dream he was floating again, but this time there was pain and he wasn't alone. His parent's stood in front of him, crying. "How could you, James?" his father demanded. "After all we've done for you, how could you hurt us like this?" His mother looked up and she looked angry. "How can you be such a brat?" she asked venomously. "You're father and I do everything for you, and this is how you treat us? Do you want us to act like we don't care about you? Huh? Is that what you want?" Then their faces swirled and dissolved and he was looking at his best friends.

"How could you, James?" Carlos asked, his eyes still shining with tears. "This has been so hard on us. We didn't mean to lie to you, and we had no way of stopping it anyway. Why…?" Logan stepped up. "We didn't want to leave in the first place, but you told us to go. You said you would be fine and that we needed to leave. So we did, because you said you wanted that. And now you're blaming us because we weren't there to stop Samuel? You just don't know what you want," he said coldly. Then Kendall stepped forward, and what he said was the worst of all.

"You're pathetic. I'm not even sure why we're friends anymore. You're selfish, you're hard to deal with, and frankly I can't take it anymore. You seem to think that you're the only one that's had a hard time with this. Well guess what? You're not! We've had it just as bad, just in different ways, and now you're just pushing us farther and farther towards the edge. I'm not going to do this anymore. We're stepping out of reach before you shove us over the edge. I'm not letting you hurt us anymore. Good bye James…" And then all three of them disappeared just like his parents had, leaving him all alone in the darkness.

"No, wait!" he cried desperately, but it was too late; they were already gone. A deep, mocking laugh filled the silence. "You just can't do anything right," a voice said. James spun around and found himself face to face with Samuel. "You try to protect someone and end up hurting them more than I probably would have. Nice going," he sneered. James covered his ears, trying to block out his voice, but he only got louder. "And the worst part of this is that with them you actually might have stood a chance against me. They were the only things in my way, and now you've gotten rid of them for me, so I guess I should be thanking you. But remember this: I never break my promises." He started laughing again, evilly, almost crazily, and then he was gone.

James stood there, tears streaming silently down his face. Then the ground beneath him was gone and he was falling, and even though everything was black, he knew that he was going down, down, down and there was no one there to catch him…

James woke up screaming, tears sliding down his cheeks. The door burst in and the officer that was guarding his room ran in, gun drawn. He stopped when he saw that James was alone and holstered his weapon, looking at the boy uncertainly. "Are you alright? Do I need to call a nurse or something?" James shook his head. "I'm fine, thank you," he whispered. "Sorry for the scare." The officer nodded and went back to his post, closing the door behind him.

As soon as he was gone James leaned into the pillows, a fresh wave of tears pouring down his face. The crying was really starting to get old, but it was the only way he could deal with this right now. He pulled his knees to his chest and curled up into a ball, ignoring the pain that lit up his shoulder and ribs. "What have I done?"

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**Awwwww -dies in a fiery explosion of angst- I feel so bad for writing this chapter. Actually I don't, but still. One more chapter left and then it's on to the sequel! Until then, please please please please PLEASE review. It would make me so happy.:)**


	14. The first end

**AHHHHHH! It's the last chapter! Oh my gosh, this is such an epic moment! *sighs* Wow. I'm not sure whether I should be incredibly sad about this or jumping for joy. But this isn't really the end, so I'm leaning toward the latter. I can't wait to see what you think of it. Thank you all for following this and all the nice reviews. You guys are more amazing than leprachauns. Remember to go to my profile page and vote on which BTR member is your favorite! I was even nice and let you choose two:) And now on to the last chapter!**

**Disclaimer: If I owned Big Time Rush this would be on TV instead of the computer, wouldn't it**

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Kendall, Carlos, and Logan were sitting back at the apartment, staring into space. They still couldn't believe all the things James had said. How could he do that? They'd tried to do everything for him. How could he think that they had purposefully broken their promise to protect him? Kendall thought back to the night before. James had seemed so happy to see him, so insanely _glad_ that he could depend on them. What had happened to him?

The boys looked up slowly as the door opened and James' parents stumbled, leaning on each other and crying quietly. Despite their anger, the boys instantly jumped up, concerned about James. "What's wrong?" Carlos asked. "Is James okay?" The adults looked at them, almost like they were surprised that anyone else was there. "He's… fine," Mr. Diamond said, but the pained look in the two's eyes told another story. "Really?" Logan asked in disbelief. Mr. Diamond sighed.

"Well… we're not sure. We tried to talk to him after you left but… he said some… things. He wasn't acting like himself, and we don't know why. Even though he was just, you know, kidnapped, he seemed almost like he was…" Mr. Diamond trailed off and his eyes widened. His wife looked at him, frowning. "Like he was what?" she demanded. Everyone looked at him expectantly. "Like he was… purposely trying to hurt us. Like he was pushing us away."

Kendall frowned. "But why would he…" Then his eyes widened as a thought hit him. "What exactly did Stenwell say to him tonight?" he asked, looking around at everyone. They stared at him in horror as what he was saying dawned on them. "He was trying to protect us?" Carlos said. Logan nodded. "It all makes sense now. Stenwell must have said something to threaten us when he was with James tonight, so James tried to push us away so that Stenwell wouldn't come after us!" Everyone nodded in agreement. "Well what are we still doing here? Let's get to the hospital!"

Everyone rushed out of the apartment and piled into the Diamond's rental car. Mrs. Knight had gone to pick up Katie from her sister's house, so they were stuck with the small car. The boys squeezed into the backseat while James' parents climbed into the front. Mr. Diamond quickly started the engine and the car sped out of the parking lot, heading towards the hospital. _Hang on, James,_ Kendall thought. _We're coming._

James was lying in his hospital bed, staring blankly at the ceiling. He had stopped crying a while ago. He had no more tears to cry. He shouldn't be crying anyway. The only reason he had to be sad he had brought upon himself, willingly. He was just feeling sorry for himself, something that he'd decided he'd done way too much of recently. That was going to have to change, or he would be miserable for the rest of his short life, especially with what he was about to do. He'd made up his mind already.

He couldn't push the ones he loved away anymore. It was just hurting everyone more than it was helping, and Samuel was smart; he'd see what James was trying to do. So James had to get away. He had to put as much distance between himself and the others, because they wouldn't be safe as long as he was around. He had to get away, lead Samuel away, to protect them.

He was healed enough, that he knew. He was still in great pain, but it was better than it had been a day ago. He would be able to manage on his own, as long as he could keep out of Samuel's reach for a few days. He thought back to what he's told himself earlier and realized he'd been wrong: that wasn't the only way. And neither was this. But it was the best plan, and the only one that he was really convinced would work, and that was good enough for him.

James slowly sat up, wincing as he pulled out the IV's. The hardest part was going to be getting past the guard, and he had already come up with a way to do that. At least no one could say he wasn't thorough. His first failed escape attempt had taught him well.

James picked up the phone from the bedside table and set it down so that it looked as if he'd been talking to someone. He lay back down and screamed. The officer burst in, gun drawn just like before, and looked around. "Bad dream?" he asked. James shook his head and pointed at the phone, trying to look afraid. "He called," he whimpered. "He said he was hiding right outside and that he was going to come for me soon." The officer looked at him and his eyes hardened. "I'll go call security and have them look around," he said, heading for the door. "Don't worry, son. He won't get you." James nodded and watched as the officer left. He sat there for another few seconds before jumping up and running.

He ducked into a closet and quickly traded his hospital gown for scrubs. As stupid as it sounded, he wasn't going to do anything in a dress. Then he slid out of the closet and made his way down the hallway, hanging his head so that no one would recognize him. He made it to the elevator, and allowed himself to relax just a little. He was going to make it.

* * *

Kendall, Carlos, and Logan were hurrying towards the hospital. Mr. and Mrs. Diamond had begged them to park the car so that they could get to James as quickly as possible, which the boys had predictably agreed to. Now they were rushing towards the hospital, anxious to see their best friend and assure him that he didn't need to protect them. They were about a hundred yards away when they saw a figure in hospital scrubs walking quickly towards them. His head was bowed, but they all instantly recognized the long brown hair and the lean figure. "James?" Kendall called out. The figure froze and slowly looked up. "James, what are you doing? You should be in the hospital!" Kendall yelled. James looked at them for a second before darting off to the side, sprinting away from his friends.

"JAMES!" they all yelled, instantly taking off in pursuit. James was fast, the fastest of the whole group, but he was still weak from everything that had happened to him. The others quickly caught up to him and Carlos grabbed his arm, trying to stop him. "James. James! Stop running and tell us what's wrong!" James stared at his friends, sadness written across his face, before pushing Carlos back into Logan and Kendall, sending them tumbling to the ground. He instantly took off running again, heading towards the small but tree-filled park that stood next to the hospital. He ignored the shouts of his friends behind him and the sharp stabs of pain that were shooting up his bare feet.

Suddenly something slammed into him from behind and he fell to the ground. Luckily he fell onto grass, so it didn't hurt as much as it could, but someone was lying on top off him, preventing him from moving. "James, what the hell are you doing?" Kendall yelled in his ear. He felt the weight disappear and two pairs of hands grab his arms, pulling him to his feet and holding him in place. He struggled wildly but he was no match for the combined strength of Carlos and Logan. Finally he gave up and stared at the ground, refusing to say anything. "Why, James?" Kendall asked, his voice breaking. He stood in front of his friend, staring hard at him.

James refused to look at Kendall. Instead he spoke to Carlos and Logan. "Let me go," he said quietly. Carlos snorted and reflexively tightened his grip. "You're going to run away again if we do," he pointed out. James didn't bother to deny it. "Yeah, I am. I'm going to leave no matter what you do, so why don't you make it a little easier for us all and just _let me go._" Logan shook his head. "There's no way we're going to let you walk away from us," he said. Tears sprang to James' eyes as he desperately tried to pull away. _No tears,_ he told himself.

"James, we're not letting you go," Kendall said, frustration clear in his voice. "Now will you please tell us why you're trying to run away?" James looked away, looking at a nearby tree in stubborn silence. "We know you only said the things you did earlier because you were trying to protect us, which, by the way, was incredibly stupid. Is that why you're doing this?" Logan asked quietly. James didn't say anything, but his silence told them everything. "Oh James…" Carlos said quietly.

James' head snapped up and he glared at Kendall, who was the only one of his friends he could see. "You just don't get it!" he screamed. "He will _never stop_ until he kills me, and he'll hurt anyone who gets in his way! No amount of protection will keep him from hurting me or any of you. I can't let that happen. I just can't," he said, slumping in his friends' grips. "James," Kendall said, trying to comfort his friend. "James, running away isn't going to help anything. In fact, it will probably make everything ten times worse." James shook his head, tears flowing freely. "He'll chase after me and leave you alone. It's the only way."

"But it's not the only way! I know you think that the police aren't going to be able to keep us safe, and maybe you're right, but if we're together everything will be okay. As long as we're together, Stenwell can't get us. If he tries, the other three will be there to stop him. But if you run away, no one will be able to help you, and he'll get you. Don't do this, James, please. Do it for us, and your parents, and everyone else who's trying to help you. Please," Kendall finished his lecture and watched James carefully, looking for his friend's reaction. James stared at Kendall, trying to pretend to be angry, to push them away so that he could salvage his plan, but it wasn't working. He let himself go limp in Carlos and Logan's arms and broke down sobbing.

"I'm sorry," he repeated over and over. Logan and Carlos gently lowered James to the ground and sank down beside him, hoping, no _knowing,_ that he wasn't going make a break for it again. Kendall joined them on the ground and they surrounded James in a hug, pulling him close and letting him cry it out. "Shhh, it's okay, James, it's okay. Everything is going to be okay."

* * *

The boys got James back to the hospital in one piece, more or less. He was still shaking and crying, and his friends were half carrying him as they brought him through the door. Everyone was in a panic looking for James, and as soon as they saw him they were all surrounding him, trying to push his friends out of the way to question him. But Carlos, Kendall, and Logan wouldn't have it, and pushed back, telling them that James would answer their questions later. When they heard that James had told his guard that Stenwell was on the premises they quickly assured them that it was a false alarm. Without another word they led James back to his room and allowed the doctors to check over him.

A few days later everything had been sorted out. Although the police weren't happy that James had lied about the phone call, they were still guarding him 24/7. James' parents had reluctantly gone back to Minnesota. As much as they had wanted to stay, James had encouraged them to go home, assuring them that he would be safe. Between the police, who were still protecting him, and his friends, they were sure that he would be safe. He still thought otherwise, but he wanted his parents to go home where their lives were, and where they would be safe.

Katie was back, and the minute she saw James she jumped on him and gave him the biggest hug she could, before releasing him and blushing in embarrassment, much to all four of the boys' amusement. She didn't know all the details, but she knew that James had had a rough time and that it wasn't over for him, but she was happy to see that he was okay.

The doctors had assured the everyone that James was going to be fine and were convinced that he would be able to leave in another week or so. The boys spent every moment with James, most of the time together. The doctors had told them that only one of them could spend the night with James, so they took turns, and the others came first thing in the morning. James often woke up in the middle of the night screaming, and it made him feel a lot better having someone there to comfort him.

A lot of people came to visit him. Camille, Jo, Stephanie, Tyler, Kelly, and even Gustavo. Griffin sent Mercedes to let James and Mrs. Knight know that the record company was going to cover all the hospital bills, and even though it was no big deal to Gustavo's boss, it meant a lot to James. Gustavo had put everything on hold until James could come back, so the boys spent all of their time at the hospital. He pretended to be annoyed, but he was secretly glad, something that everyone noticed.

James sighed contently as his friends talked about random things. His body was healing well, and he was no longer in constant pain. In fact, only a few small scars and the memories reminded him of what had happened. But that was enough. He frowned to himself before quickly smiling, not wanting to worry his friends. They were going to keep him safe, they had promised, and with all the time they spent with him he was really starting to believe it. But there was still a cloud of doubt, torturing him. He still had constant nightmares about Samuel, and whether or not he liked it, he knew that they were going to meet again. He just had to make sure he was ready.

* * *

Samuel watched the boys laugh in James' room as though they didn't have care in the world and smiled to himself. If only they knew what was to come. Laughing evilly, he lowered his binoculars and melted into the shadows, planning his next move. There was going to be hell to pay. That was a promise.

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**And it's... done! Wow, this was the longest chapter so far, and it was the last. Oh, the irony. Anyway, the sequel will be up either tomorrow or Saturday, and it'll be called 'Repercussions'. Until then, review and make my day!**


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